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Can we still judge as parents of a difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 152135" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I know we are all friends on this board. We come from all areas of the world. We are all of different personalities. It sometimes takes a long time to get to know someone especially via computer. We learned from a post on kids climbing in trees that there is a derogatory meaning for something many of us thought of just normal endearing way to address our kids. To some, replies may have been judgemental - that is because those people posting, (me included) did not understand one of the possibilities of those words. I had no idea that the phrase used had such a horrible background of meanings. I thank those who provided background so I could learn. My first reaction was - "How can she get in trouble for that?" Now I know. So, as I have learned, I hope those who knew will also learn that some people did not understand.</p><p> </p><p>So, we continue to be careful not to offend anyone, however, we also need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. They may come from a corner of the world that sees things differently and there is no intention to offend.</p><p> </p><p>Some people say it as they see it. These are all ideas/opinions meant to help. I know that my input will not always be the answer you need but maybe it will help someone else checking in? It is cool how different eyes see different issues/answers so you get a large picture of input to a question/concern/comment. Many times after I post, a post will appear that sends me in a new direction because I had not thought of that then I think my post is wrong.</p><p> </p><p>I am learning so much on this board and I hope I have not sounded judgemental - if so, forgive me - I would never judge you (even if I knew the entire story - as we only get to know a little bit). I do try to stay objectionable and not personal when giving input.</p><p> </p><p>I think sometimes as someone is "letting off steam" things can easily be taken out of context. When we are upset, we see things irrationally or as if we are trapped sometimes and just need to "vent". Once it is out of our system, we feel better. This is a safe place to "vent". We have to let each other say what they need to say. Remember, sometimes when we are "venting", we really do not mean everything we say but we still say it because that is how we feel at the moment. It's like throwing everything in the open, the good, the bad, the right, the wrong.</p><p> </p><p>We also have to remember that as our lives are stressed to the max, the weirdest things make us laugh. So, if there are any jokes shared that helped the writer release stress but may sound judgemental, remember the source - it is the stress talking, or the release of the the stress and we let that person enjoy that moment and are happy that he/she can laugh even at the weird things because laughter reduces stress.</p><p> </p><p>So, can we still judge as parents of a difficult child? I would hope that as members of any forum we choose to join, we will give everyone the benefit of the doubt and not judge. And unless there is strong evidence that the judgement is there, remember that the offense was probably not intentional and choose to forgive.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 152135, member: 5096"] I know we are all friends on this board. We come from all areas of the world. We are all of different personalities. It sometimes takes a long time to get to know someone especially via computer. We learned from a post on kids climbing in trees that there is a derogatory meaning for something many of us thought of just normal endearing way to address our kids. To some, replies may have been judgemental - that is because those people posting, (me included) did not understand one of the possibilities of those words. I had no idea that the phrase used had such a horrible background of meanings. I thank those who provided background so I could learn. My first reaction was - "How can she get in trouble for that?" Now I know. So, as I have learned, I hope those who knew will also learn that some people did not understand. So, we continue to be careful not to offend anyone, however, we also need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. They may come from a corner of the world that sees things differently and there is no intention to offend. Some people say it as they see it. These are all ideas/opinions meant to help. I know that my input will not always be the answer you need but maybe it will help someone else checking in? It is cool how different eyes see different issues/answers so you get a large picture of input to a question/concern/comment. Many times after I post, a post will appear that sends me in a new direction because I had not thought of that then I think my post is wrong. I am learning so much on this board and I hope I have not sounded judgemental - if so, forgive me - I would never judge you (even if I knew the entire story - as we only get to know a little bit). I do try to stay objectionable and not personal when giving input. I think sometimes as someone is "letting off steam" things can easily be taken out of context. When we are upset, we see things irrationally or as if we are trapped sometimes and just need to "vent". Once it is out of our system, we feel better. This is a safe place to "vent". We have to let each other say what they need to say. Remember, sometimes when we are "venting", we really do not mean everything we say but we still say it because that is how we feel at the moment. It's like throwing everything in the open, the good, the bad, the right, the wrong. We also have to remember that as our lives are stressed to the max, the weirdest things make us laugh. So, if there are any jokes shared that helped the writer release stress but may sound judgemental, remember the source - it is the stress talking, or the release of the the stress and we let that person enjoy that moment and are happy that he/she can laugh even at the weird things because laughter reduces stress. So, can we still judge as parents of a difficult child? I would hope that as members of any forum we choose to join, we will give everyone the benefit of the doubt and not judge. And unless there is strong evidence that the judgement is there, remember that the offense was probably not intentional and choose to forgive. [/QUOTE]
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Can we still judge as parents of a difficult child?
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