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Can we talk about jail?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 615423" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm a little confused Echolette.......it you pay the fine, is he immediately released or will he serve time for the more recent issue?</p><p></p><p>If it were me, I think I might pay it too, to give him a running chance to keep himself away from the law for now. However, I would make it clear what my conditions were..........and perhaps tell him this is his Christmas gift and you will <u>never</u> make that choice again.</p><p></p><p>If your son is anything like my daughter and many kids here, he will not be thinking at any point soon about his future and what he can do to make that better for himself, they don't seem to be able to "future think." But, you and I can and we know the ramifications of these kinds of issues. </p><p></p><p>If you pay it will that up your resentment level? Will it up your level of anger at him? Or will it simply be yet another fork in the road where you give him a chance at a better life which you can let go of and not dwell on? If it's the latter, I would pay it.</p><p></p><p>I believe we parents have to make these kinds of choices a lot with our difficult child's and as Cedar mentioned, they are easier once detachment is not an issue anymore, but while we are going through it, I think we have to measure each choice carefully and go with what our best instinct is.............if your son were older and disrespectful of you, I would have a different response, but under these particular circumstances, the big picture and the legal ramifications would have a big impact on my thinking and what I would be willing to do.</p><p></p><p>Remember, there is no right or wrong or judgement with whatever you decide.........you're the only one who knows what the right thing to do for YOU is. Sending good thoughts........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 615423, member: 13542"] I'm a little confused Echolette.......it you pay the fine, is he immediately released or will he serve time for the more recent issue? If it were me, I think I might pay it too, to give him a running chance to keep himself away from the law for now. However, I would make it clear what my conditions were..........and perhaps tell him this is his Christmas gift and you will [U]never[/U] make that choice again. If your son is anything like my daughter and many kids here, he will not be thinking at any point soon about his future and what he can do to make that better for himself, they don't seem to be able to "future think." But, you and I can and we know the ramifications of these kinds of issues. If you pay it will that up your resentment level? Will it up your level of anger at him? Or will it simply be yet another fork in the road where you give him a chance at a better life which you can let go of and not dwell on? If it's the latter, I would pay it. I believe we parents have to make these kinds of choices a lot with our difficult child's and as Cedar mentioned, they are easier once detachment is not an issue anymore, but while we are going through it, I think we have to measure each choice carefully and go with what our best instinct is.............if your son were older and disrespectful of you, I would have a different response, but under these particular circumstances, the big picture and the legal ramifications would have a big impact on my thinking and what I would be willing to do. Remember, there is no right or wrong or judgement with whatever you decide.........you're the only one who knows what the right thing to do for YOU is. Sending good thoughts........ [/QUOTE]
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