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Can you help me with my son?
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<blockquote data-quote="cakewalk" data-source="post: 297175" data-attributes="member: 7060"><p>I'm not an adoptive parent, but I did have a really cruddy mom that reacted to a few of my life situations the way your mom handled your experience. I truly know how that feels and regardless if all is well now, those feelings stay with you. I'm sorry you had to go through that both with the kid in HS and the aftermath of your mother's reaction.</p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">"And I don't think I can give him the answers he's going to want without telling him the whole story, which is going to bring unpleasant facets to the lives of people he only thinks great things of.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>I get your above statement! Man, do I get it. My difficult child and I have butted heads when I said unpleasant but true things about his beloved grandma. </p><p></p><p>I'm just curious, how did your son take the news that you were not a distant relative? I'm assuming he knows you are his mother now.</p><p></p><p>If he hasn't asked about his bio dad yet, I wouldn't even go there until you conquer the other issues that he's facing in his life. If he'll go to counseling, that would be a great start.</p><p></p><p>I'd also do some behind the scenes checking on bio to know exactly what you are facing when this subject comes up. I also think I'd wait until your son addressed the issue before I'd offer anything at this point.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cakewalk, post: 297175, member: 7060"] I'm not an adoptive parent, but I did have a really cruddy mom that reacted to a few of my life situations the way your mom handled your experience. I truly know how that feels and regardless if all is well now, those feelings stay with you. I'm sorry you had to go through that both with the kid in HS and the aftermath of your mother's reaction. [FONT=Arial]"And I don't think I can give him the answers he's going to want without telling him the whole story, which is going to bring unpleasant facets to the lives of people he only thinks great things of.[/FONT]" I get your above statement! Man, do I get it. My difficult child and I have butted heads when I said unpleasant but true things about his beloved grandma. I'm just curious, how did your son take the news that you were not a distant relative? I'm assuming he knows you are his mother now. If he hasn't asked about his bio dad yet, I wouldn't even go there until you conquer the other issues that he's facing in his life. If he'll go to counseling, that would be a great start. I'd also do some behind the scenes checking on bio to know exactly what you are facing when this subject comes up. I also think I'd wait until your son addressed the issue before I'd offer anything at this point. [/QUOTE]
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