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General Parenting
Canceling Christmas...has anyone done this?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hanging-On" data-source="post: 106566" data-attributes="member: 2325"><p>Thanks for the replies. But difficult child doesn't "get it" unless it's extreme. And since easy child is following along with difficult child, then he's not getting it either. I disagree with the thought of "their disabled, so they can't control themselves". I TOTALLY disagree with that, and I'm not raising them like their disabled. I've seen first hand what that type of pandering and looking the other way and not being firm does to people like this. I've seen what it has done to their bio-dad, and he's in prison maybe for good (and he STILL has the attitude that nothing is his fault and that society owes him and that it's his mom's responsibility to get him out (and she's lost one home already, and she's selling her small investment land just to please him)and he's NEVER pleased with anything she has done. she has neve said no to him, and she's driven into his head that he's incapable of his actions because of this and that). There is NO way I'm going to stand by and let my kids get away with stuff just because their disabled. I work with a disabled man who's in a wheel chair, and he drives a normal BMW sedan. I was shocked to watch him get in by himself, fold the wheelchair by himself etc. He told me that the doctors told him that he has to do EVERYTHING for himself, and not to expect to be treated differntly just because his legs don't work. THIS is how I want to raise my kids. That they are not going to get special treatment, and special chances just because they have a disorder. That to me is more a disservice to them then making them stand on their own and take responsibility for themselves.</p><p></p><p>Marguarite. I have done everything you wrote before, and it didn't work. It's not extreme enough to get their attention. And they don't care if they sleep in their clothes and they sleep just fine.</p><p></p><p>Maybe I'm a mean mom, but THEY ARE going to learn a lesson. I've already told them that x-mas morning we're going to the shelter to hand out gifts. We're going to church, we're doing the spiritual things that are important, but no gifts in our house. And Santa isn't coming becuase they think I have his phone number. difficult child some how came up with that thought years ago, and he swears by it. </p><p></p><p>And I have done the no x-mas decorations until x-mas eve and they were asleep. When they wake up they think Santa came and did all of that.</p><p></p><p>I also believe that giving them gifts unexpectantly when they're not expecting it is more special then giving a gift just because it's a holiday and that's what sociey says you're suppose to do. I know that the gifts given to me for no reason, on no important day are more special and important to me than the ones on x-mas and birthdays. (So maybe I'm weird.) And I surprise them all year with these types of gifts that are given just because I love you and want you to have this.</p><p></p><p>So maybe Santa will come and leave a card or small something under a "1" foot tree. Who knows. What I do know, is that they ARE going to church and they are going to the shelter and help hand out gifts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hanging-On, post: 106566, member: 2325"] Thanks for the replies. But difficult child doesn't "get it" unless it's extreme. And since easy child is following along with difficult child, then he's not getting it either. I disagree with the thought of "their disabled, so they can't control themselves". I TOTALLY disagree with that, and I'm not raising them like their disabled. I've seen first hand what that type of pandering and looking the other way and not being firm does to people like this. I've seen what it has done to their bio-dad, and he's in prison maybe for good (and he STILL has the attitude that nothing is his fault and that society owes him and that it's his mom's responsibility to get him out (and she's lost one home already, and she's selling her small investment land just to please him)and he's NEVER pleased with anything she has done. she has neve said no to him, and she's driven into his head that he's incapable of his actions because of this and that). There is NO way I'm going to stand by and let my kids get away with stuff just because their disabled. I work with a disabled man who's in a wheel chair, and he drives a normal BMW sedan. I was shocked to watch him get in by himself, fold the wheelchair by himself etc. He told me that the doctors told him that he has to do EVERYTHING for himself, and not to expect to be treated differntly just because his legs don't work. THIS is how I want to raise my kids. That they are not going to get special treatment, and special chances just because they have a disorder. That to me is more a disservice to them then making them stand on their own and take responsibility for themselves. Marguarite. I have done everything you wrote before, and it didn't work. It's not extreme enough to get their attention. And they don't care if they sleep in their clothes and they sleep just fine. Maybe I'm a mean mom, but THEY ARE going to learn a lesson. I've already told them that x-mas morning we're going to the shelter to hand out gifts. We're going to church, we're doing the spiritual things that are important, but no gifts in our house. And Santa isn't coming becuase they think I have his phone number. difficult child some how came up with that thought years ago, and he swears by it. And I have done the no x-mas decorations until x-mas eve and they were asleep. When they wake up they think Santa came and did all of that. I also believe that giving them gifts unexpectantly when they're not expecting it is more special then giving a gift just because it's a holiday and that's what sociey says you're suppose to do. I know that the gifts given to me for no reason, on no important day are more special and important to me than the ones on x-mas and birthdays. (So maybe I'm weird.) And I surprise them all year with these types of gifts that are given just because I love you and want you to have this. So maybe Santa will come and leave a card or small something under a "1" foot tree. Who knows. What I do know, is that they ARE going to church and they are going to the shelter and help hand out gifts. [/QUOTE]
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