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Can't bring myself to visit difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 39848" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>my son first was taken into the system at age 13. he spent the next 5 yrs in and out of the juvie system. he ran from two facilities. one had never had an escape. he left that one in his stocking feet with a boy he had met. they hitchhiked and lied their way from PA to north carolina and were gone 9 dys. I was sick with worry.</p><p></p><p>when they got him back they sent him to a juvenile jail. top security, all shiny stainless steel, to visit you went thru a metal detector, and several locked door systems. it made me sick too. </p><p></p><p>when I visited him there he was angry and mean. I had driven a long way there and was nauseous from it all. he got up and asked to me taken back to his cell within minutes. he told the guard never to let his parents visit again.</p><p></p><p>he was then sent two yrs to a minimum security place 6 hrs from me. I went monthly. when he got a home pass he disappeared and ran off for 4 dys over Christmas. again, no contact to me.</p><p></p><p>he has caused so much pain. he has been thru many psychiatric evaluations and one hospitalization in a psychiatric hospital for an evaluation. all they came up with was drug abuse. the last one was done by the prison system. no more drug abuse, but they found he has anxiety, depression and passive aggression. he self medicates (still) with alcohol..mostly vodka. </p><p></p><p>dont blame you. it is a big challenge and you were up to it all. </p><p>thing is at some point they are too big, too determined in their ways, too manipulative, too much lying, so much sorrow. in self preservation, we back off for a while to lick our wounds. </p><p></p><p>that is not to say we do not love them, just that our resources are depleted and we need to replenish, regroup and set new boundaries to save ourselves. </p><p></p><p>be good to you. he is being helped by the pros for now. not your fault. you would not want this, he forced it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 39848, member: 97"] my son first was taken into the system at age 13. he spent the next 5 yrs in and out of the juvie system. he ran from two facilities. one had never had an escape. he left that one in his stocking feet with a boy he had met. they hitchhiked and lied their way from PA to north carolina and were gone 9 dys. I was sick with worry. when they got him back they sent him to a juvenile jail. top security, all shiny stainless steel, to visit you went thru a metal detector, and several locked door systems. it made me sick too. when I visited him there he was angry and mean. I had driven a long way there and was nauseous from it all. he got up and asked to me taken back to his cell within minutes. he told the guard never to let his parents visit again. he was then sent two yrs to a minimum security place 6 hrs from me. I went monthly. when he got a home pass he disappeared and ran off for 4 dys over Christmas. again, no contact to me. he has caused so much pain. he has been thru many psychiatric evaluations and one hospitalization in a psychiatric hospital for an evaluation. all they came up with was drug abuse. the last one was done by the prison system. no more drug abuse, but they found he has anxiety, depression and passive aggression. he self medicates (still) with alcohol..mostly vodka. dont blame you. it is a big challenge and you were up to it all. thing is at some point they are too big, too determined in their ways, too manipulative, too much lying, so much sorrow. in self preservation, we back off for a while to lick our wounds. that is not to say we do not love them, just that our resources are depleted and we need to replenish, regroup and set new boundaries to save ourselves. be good to you. he is being helped by the pros for now. not your fault. you would not want this, he forced it. [/QUOTE]
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