Hello,
I am new here and hope I can get some help. I have a 4 yr old girl. I have noticed behaviors I thought not normal since she was 2. Doctors and school tell me oh she is normal its ok. Just keep on her and don't let her get away with stuff. Ok easy enough right? WRONG. From 2 she has been so absorbed with me. She needs my attention and no one else can have it. She shows lots of love maybe too much but I never mind lovins from my child. We have had animal since I am an animal lover. She never showed any interest in any animal. No negative or positive reactions towards them. She just didn't care about them either way. She likes to have fun and play but always have to play with mom and didn't care to play with other kids. She never showed aggression towards other kids but just acted like they didn't exist. She refused to play alone as well. I thought it was weird but told it was not. At 3 she started talking way to much. I can't get a word in. She wouldn't listen to what was being said because she was too worried about saying what she had to say. If someone tried to talk to me she would walk between us and start talking over them to get my attention so they could not have her mommy I guess. Last year was her first year of preschool. I told them of my concerns with her interrupting and they say they didn't notice anything abnormal. She even did it to me talking to the teacher but claimed it was normal. ok then if they say so. One day my daughter said she punch another kid. I asked why and she said because he hit me. I talked to teachers about it and they said they didn't see anything. Then she started repeating things over and over. She would ask a question. I would answer her question. Right away she asks the same question. I answer question again. Right away asks the same question. She wont stop until I tell her to stop it. So now she is 4. She still interrupts me talking to others. She still repeats questions and comments even if I acknowledge her. She now starting this hitting and kicking thing. Her and her friend were watching a movie. 20 mins into movie she gets up and kicked her friend in the face. Then another day for no reason kicked her other friend in the stomach. Then another day she kicked our dog. Then she did it again another day but also in the same day she slapped her 1 yr old sister in the face. Now we have tried positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement. We give it a while to see if what ever correction will take effect but nothing does. We have done time outs according to age. 1 min per age. We have taken toys and tv away, no playing with friends, grounded to room for longer periods when short time outs were not working any more. I even went as a spanking with open hand to show her that people have feeling like her. We have a good girl chart and a bad girl chart. Nothing works. Nothing has changed in our family within the last year. Me and my husband get along great and we talk our problems out and don't scream and yell. We do this in front of her so she learns how to deal with problems with other people. I am an at home mom. I spend a lot of time cleaning and care for the house and don't have a lot of time to entertain. When my 1 year old takes a nap i play a little with my 4 year old to give her the one on one attention. We get about 2 hrs of alone time. Then when my youngest wakes it back to work for me caring for the house hold. After dinner and dad gets home we take kids outside to play. I can't do it by myself because they are both so high demand I can not tend to both at once at playground. The one year old like to run around and put everything in her mouth as they do but my 4 year old wants me to help her on the swing, go down the slide and play with her. I tell her to play with the other kids and she will sometimes but most of the time she wont. She will just follow me around and interrupt my conversation with others. It seems she doesn't get the difference that we are adults and she is a child. She thinks she should have equal rights and questions my every move and tries to tell me what to do. I don't allow it and we are fighting for control. She is very argumentative. Even if its in her favor she argues. For example she will ask if she can have a snack. I will say yes. She will reply well you let me yesterday. I ask her why she is arguing if I said yes. Of course being 4 she doesn't know. When I send her to time out for doing something wrong I will ask if she knows why she is in time out and she says no. I tell her why. Then when I let her out I ask again and she says no again. It's like she wont own up to her mistakes or just doesn't get it. I tried talking to her on the couch and not tower over her. I explain as brief and simple as possible why she is in trouble and why she should do these things but she doesn't either get it or care. She always says sorry for her actions and promise not to do it again but 1 hr later she is back at it, and punished again.
I tried to get my doctor to refer us to a professional but she won't. She says this is all normal. Well she doesn't know about the hitting yet but I have little faith she is going to give me the referral we need to get professional help. We don't have a lot of money so I can't pay out of pocket for help. I don't know what to do. I want to help my child but not getting the resources needed to do so. I feel like I am going crazy and I'm just a bad parent. What does one do? Sorry this is so long but best lay it all out now instead of through several posts.
I am new here and hope I can get some help. I have a 4 yr old girl. I have noticed behaviors I thought not normal since she was 2. Doctors and school tell me oh she is normal its ok. Just keep on her and don't let her get away with stuff. Ok easy enough right? WRONG. From 2 she has been so absorbed with me. She needs my attention and no one else can have it. She shows lots of love maybe too much but I never mind lovins from my child. We have had animal since I am an animal lover. She never showed any interest in any animal. No negative or positive reactions towards them. She just didn't care about them either way. She likes to have fun and play but always have to play with mom and didn't care to play with other kids. She never showed aggression towards other kids but just acted like they didn't exist. She refused to play alone as well. I thought it was weird but told it was not. At 3 she started talking way to much. I can't get a word in. She wouldn't listen to what was being said because she was too worried about saying what she had to say. If someone tried to talk to me she would walk between us and start talking over them to get my attention so they could not have her mommy I guess. Last year was her first year of preschool. I told them of my concerns with her interrupting and they say they didn't notice anything abnormal. She even did it to me talking to the teacher but claimed it was normal. ok then if they say so. One day my daughter said she punch another kid. I asked why and she said because he hit me. I talked to teachers about it and they said they didn't see anything. Then she started repeating things over and over. She would ask a question. I would answer her question. Right away she asks the same question. I answer question again. Right away asks the same question. She wont stop until I tell her to stop it. So now she is 4. She still interrupts me talking to others. She still repeats questions and comments even if I acknowledge her. She now starting this hitting and kicking thing. Her and her friend were watching a movie. 20 mins into movie she gets up and kicked her friend in the face. Then another day for no reason kicked her other friend in the stomach. Then another day she kicked our dog. Then she did it again another day but also in the same day she slapped her 1 yr old sister in the face. Now we have tried positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement. We give it a while to see if what ever correction will take effect but nothing does. We have done time outs according to age. 1 min per age. We have taken toys and tv away, no playing with friends, grounded to room for longer periods when short time outs were not working any more. I even went as a spanking with open hand to show her that people have feeling like her. We have a good girl chart and a bad girl chart. Nothing works. Nothing has changed in our family within the last year. Me and my husband get along great and we talk our problems out and don't scream and yell. We do this in front of her so she learns how to deal with problems with other people. I am an at home mom. I spend a lot of time cleaning and care for the house and don't have a lot of time to entertain. When my 1 year old takes a nap i play a little with my 4 year old to give her the one on one attention. We get about 2 hrs of alone time. Then when my youngest wakes it back to work for me caring for the house hold. After dinner and dad gets home we take kids outside to play. I can't do it by myself because they are both so high demand I can not tend to both at once at playground. The one year old like to run around and put everything in her mouth as they do but my 4 year old wants me to help her on the swing, go down the slide and play with her. I tell her to play with the other kids and she will sometimes but most of the time she wont. She will just follow me around and interrupt my conversation with others. It seems she doesn't get the difference that we are adults and she is a child. She thinks she should have equal rights and questions my every move and tries to tell me what to do. I don't allow it and we are fighting for control. She is very argumentative. Even if its in her favor she argues. For example she will ask if she can have a snack. I will say yes. She will reply well you let me yesterday. I ask her why she is arguing if I said yes. Of course being 4 she doesn't know. When I send her to time out for doing something wrong I will ask if she knows why she is in time out and she says no. I tell her why. Then when I let her out I ask again and she says no again. It's like she wont own up to her mistakes or just doesn't get it. I tried talking to her on the couch and not tower over her. I explain as brief and simple as possible why she is in trouble and why she should do these things but she doesn't either get it or care. She always says sorry for her actions and promise not to do it again but 1 hr later she is back at it, and punished again.
I tried to get my doctor to refer us to a professional but she won't. She says this is all normal. Well she doesn't know about the hitting yet but I have little faith she is going to give me the referral we need to get professional help. We don't have a lot of money so I can't pay out of pocket for help. I don't know what to do. I want to help my child but not getting the resources needed to do so. I feel like I am going crazy and I'm just a bad parent. What does one do? Sorry this is so long but best lay it all out now instead of through several posts.
