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Can't give daughter cash for a present ('cause who knows what she'll do with it).
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 329083" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>mother in law was given a lovely hand-made calendar by her two more physically distant grandchildren. They got the blank month to an opening wall calendar from a staionary store then scrapbooked onto it with decals, personal photos, other personal touches. She loves it, she has been showing it to everybody. The photos are of her (mother in law) having fun with various members of the family, especially the family of the gift-givers. They chose the photos according to the season and the month - the Christmas photo is from last Christmas when mother in law was visiting them, so there is a lovely photo of these girls with mother in law in front of their Christmas tree.</p><p></p><p>It wouldn't have been expensive to do - it really is the thought that counts and a lot of thought went into this, if there weren't a lot of dollars spent. I think it's her favourite gift of all this year.</p><p></p><p>Maybe it's too late for this year, but it is a good idea for you for next year, or for someone who has a birthday in the new year. Or sometimes you can get 18 month calendars so this could be good for someone with a birthday in April, May or June.</p><p></p><p>And animom - anyone who explodes over an 'inadequate" gift - ignore it. Never let them or their explosion become an issue. Where does it come from? It varies. Sometimes it comes from a sense of entitlement. In which case - allowing their tangrum to affect you is like allowing their view to have validity.</p><p>Sometimes it comes from a verbal backlash Occupational Therapist (OT) "Now I know what my gift is and part of me is always going to be disappointed, even if it was the top item on my wish list, because i now have not got the possible anticipation of it being any one of all the other things on my wish list." This is a very childish (infantile?) reaction which again needs to be ignored.</p><p>At most, you can slap it down with, "At least you got something. Be grateful or next time we won't waste our energy. Our love is not to be measured by how much we spend - there are people in the world who get really expensive gifts, but no love. For them, the gift is meanigless and therefore worthless."</p><p></p><p>And if that doesn't work, try following it with, "And by your standards, how much did you spend on other people? Don't answer that because, unlike you, I really don't want to know. But you need to think about it before you open your mouth merely to change feet."</p><p></p><p>It's not meant Occupational Therapist (OT) be a competition. When it becomes a competition, it has lost meaning and I don't blame you for feelnig jaded about it. I would too.</p><p></p><p>I hope she behaves herself for you this year. Hang in there. Don't accept any stuff she tries to dump on you, just shrug it off and walk away. Christmas is for you too, you don't have to wear anything you don't want to.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 329083, member: 1991"] mother in law was given a lovely hand-made calendar by her two more physically distant grandchildren. They got the blank month to an opening wall calendar from a staionary store then scrapbooked onto it with decals, personal photos, other personal touches. She loves it, she has been showing it to everybody. The photos are of her (mother in law) having fun with various members of the family, especially the family of the gift-givers. They chose the photos according to the season and the month - the Christmas photo is from last Christmas when mother in law was visiting them, so there is a lovely photo of these girls with mother in law in front of their Christmas tree. It wouldn't have been expensive to do - it really is the thought that counts and a lot of thought went into this, if there weren't a lot of dollars spent. I think it's her favourite gift of all this year. Maybe it's too late for this year, but it is a good idea for you for next year, or for someone who has a birthday in the new year. Or sometimes you can get 18 month calendars so this could be good for someone with a birthday in April, May or June. And animom - anyone who explodes over an 'inadequate" gift - ignore it. Never let them or their explosion become an issue. Where does it come from? It varies. Sometimes it comes from a sense of entitlement. In which case - allowing their tangrum to affect you is like allowing their view to have validity. Sometimes it comes from a verbal backlash Occupational Therapist (OT) "Now I know what my gift is and part of me is always going to be disappointed, even if it was the top item on my wish list, because i now have not got the possible anticipation of it being any one of all the other things on my wish list." This is a very childish (infantile?) reaction which again needs to be ignored. At most, you can slap it down with, "At least you got something. Be grateful or next time we won't waste our energy. Our love is not to be measured by how much we spend - there are people in the world who get really expensive gifts, but no love. For them, the gift is meanigless and therefore worthless." And if that doesn't work, try following it with, "And by your standards, how much did you spend on other people? Don't answer that because, unlike you, I really don't want to know. But you need to think about it before you open your mouth merely to change feet." It's not meant Occupational Therapist (OT) be a competition. When it becomes a competition, it has lost meaning and I don't blame you for feelnig jaded about it. I would too. I hope she behaves herself for you this year. Hang in there. Don't accept any stuff she tries to dump on you, just shrug it off and walk away. Christmas is for you too, you don't have to wear anything you don't want to. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Can't give daughter cash for a present ('cause who knows what she'll do with it).
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