If there is any violence in the home (from an ex, or from one child abusing you or a sibling) then you will qualify for FREE counselling at any domestic violence shelter. After I had my difficult child removed by the Sheriff and we finally had him placed with my parents I just couldn't see him. I was a MESS. We couldn't afford counselling so I went to the DV shelter. They hadn't seen my situation before, but it still was violence so it still counted even though it was a child abusing a parent. I got quite a LOT of help for free. And it was GOOD help, the therapists I saw were very willing to try things and look for new ways to help me.
It might be an option. And it is totally confidential. The therapist said that if they ran into me in public it was up to me to say Hi or not - and either was OK. They let the client make that decision each time, because sometimes it could be risky for some clients.
I am so sorry the mental health system is so dang broken that we often can have insurance but no way to get therapy.
Oh - does your hospital have an Employee Assistance Program? Often you can call and they will pay for several visits completely. It is several visits per problem, so you can phrase it as a new problem each time and get a fair amt of help. I know it has been quite helpful for us as we need to see a therapist to know if they will be helpful, and with our program if a therapist doesn't work out then you can get more visits approved to see another therapist until you find one that will work for you.