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Can't take it anymore...I can't...I can't...I can't
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<blockquote data-quote="Dixies_fire" data-source="post: 598850" data-attributes="member: 16184"><p>I think this is so ridiculous they will go through this contested debate about custody and at the end of the day it will most likely be joint custody anyway. One person might have primary and I understand your son wants that to be him, but generally unless you live in Ohio the father has a bunch of rights and every chance to be a parent. If she messes up its custodial interference and it gets costly again quickly for her because they might make her pay the fees for unneeded litigation.</p><p>Nothing about his situation is laughable but I generally think its laughable when people pull the "I'm going to take custody from you" it's almost impossible to take full custody and you end up paying a **** load for them to tell you what the **** divorce decree would say without the costly court battle. </p><p></p><p>I believe you when you say she is worse then he is but at the same time, how on earth is he going to care for a child when he is barely functioning? I am not throwing stones as god knows my mental health has been questionable at times and hubs is a straight wild card, very straight laced and proper one second and totally out of control the next. I worry for our children as I don't really know what the expectation for my hubs getting better is. </p><p>But:</p><p></p><p>As for you, are you friendly with your ex that is paying the bill? I would call and tell him your perception and fears, and your sons fear he will stop paying. Share the burden if you can, you are both his parents and concerned for his well being being able to lean on the other parent when your child is having such a difficult time sharing your thoughts, fears and exasperations may help you! And not just you but your son also since he isn't articulating well on his own behalf to someone he owes a great deal of gratitude to and whom he is so dependent on for his continued support. At least if ex does stop paying, you will know you did all you could by talking to ex.</p><p></p><p>But you can not continue to let this drag you to the depths! You have other children, husband and a house to take care of. </p><p></p><p>You have to realize he DOES have options to attend to his own mental health he is choosing yes I said CHOOSING not to avail himself of those options. Alanon is free and from what I'm seeing so is NAMI some kind of group would at least be a step. Continuing to drink and calling you and ranting it out is not caring for himself. </p><p></p><p>MWM you spend so much time on this board helping others and pushing them in the right direction and talking about detachment you should realize if he isn't WILLING to get help he's going to continue to spiral and at this rate he's taking you with him. I understand you don't want to lose him like you lost Scott but you have to look out for yourself right now. Pass on the message to your ex that 35 needs to seek some treatment and maybe he, since he has leverage you don't ie: money, can convince him.</p><p></p><p>I'm a really blunt person, but it is really hard "seeing" you in a tail spin about this. So I'm sorry if any of it is offensive as that is the last last last thing I want to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dixies_fire, post: 598850, member: 16184"] I think this is so ridiculous they will go through this contested debate about custody and at the end of the day it will most likely be joint custody anyway. One person might have primary and I understand your son wants that to be him, but generally unless you live in Ohio the father has a bunch of rights and every chance to be a parent. If she messes up its custodial interference and it gets costly again quickly for her because they might make her pay the fees for unneeded litigation. Nothing about his situation is laughable but I generally think its laughable when people pull the "I'm going to take custody from you" it's almost impossible to take full custody and you end up paying a **** load for them to tell you what the **** divorce decree would say without the costly court battle. I believe you when you say she is worse then he is but at the same time, how on earth is he going to care for a child when he is barely functioning? I am not throwing stones as god knows my mental health has been questionable at times and hubs is a straight wild card, very straight laced and proper one second and totally out of control the next. I worry for our children as I don't really know what the expectation for my hubs getting better is. But: As for you, are you friendly with your ex that is paying the bill? I would call and tell him your perception and fears, and your sons fear he will stop paying. Share the burden if you can, you are both his parents and concerned for his well being being able to lean on the other parent when your child is having such a difficult time sharing your thoughts, fears and exasperations may help you! And not just you but your son also since he isn't articulating well on his own behalf to someone he owes a great deal of gratitude to and whom he is so dependent on for his continued support. At least if ex does stop paying, you will know you did all you could by talking to ex. But you can not continue to let this drag you to the depths! You have other children, husband and a house to take care of. You have to realize he DOES have options to attend to his own mental health he is choosing yes I said CHOOSING not to avail himself of those options. Alanon is free and from what I'm seeing so is NAMI some kind of group would at least be a step. Continuing to drink and calling you and ranting it out is not caring for himself. MWM you spend so much time on this board helping others and pushing them in the right direction and talking about detachment you should realize if he isn't WILLING to get help he's going to continue to spiral and at this rate he's taking you with him. I understand you don't want to lose him like you lost Scott but you have to look out for yourself right now. Pass on the message to your ex that 35 needs to seek some treatment and maybe he, since he has leverage you don't ie: money, can convince him. I'm a really blunt person, but it is really hard "seeing" you in a tail spin about this. So I'm sorry if any of it is offensive as that is the last last last thing I want to do. [/QUOTE]
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