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Substance Abuse
Can't tell when to help and when to step back!
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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 273451" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>I can relate to the syndrome of doing everything for your kids and having it backfire (note my screen name).</p><p> </p><p>You are responsible for your children until they are 18, and by responsible I mean to give them food, shelter, an opportunity to go to school and medical care when necessary. Anything else is a privilege.</p><p> </p><p>Shut off the stream of privilege to them until they shape up. Don't pay for a damn thing, no clothes, cell phones, walking around money, etc., since they are old enough to get a job and earn their own spending money. Don't give 'em cash at all if you suspect they are spending it on drugs. A social worker told me I could be charged with neglect for giving my son cash, even in exchange for chores, when he was 15 and smoking weed.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, put the focus on yourself. You cannot motivate another person, they have to do it themselves. They are responsible for getting themselves up on time and to school. I did all that b.s. driving them around and it wore me down to a nub. </p><p> </p><p>Save yourself while you still have a pulse! And come here for support when you need it. (I commend you for walking in the a.m., if you do it. I used to go with another doormat mom, around a high school track at 7:30 a.m, with our water bottles or hot tea, depending on temperature, and the time went by so quick while we were gabbing about our sad little situations. I got firmer thighs from it.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 273451, member: 5941"] I can relate to the syndrome of doing everything for your kids and having it backfire (note my screen name). You are responsible for your children until they are 18, and by responsible I mean to give them food, shelter, an opportunity to go to school and medical care when necessary. Anything else is a privilege. Shut off the stream of privilege to them until they shape up. Don't pay for a damn thing, no clothes, cell phones, walking around money, etc., since they are old enough to get a job and earn their own spending money. Don't give 'em cash at all if you suspect they are spending it on drugs. A social worker told me I could be charged with neglect for giving my son cash, even in exchange for chores, when he was 15 and smoking weed. Instead, put the focus on yourself. You cannot motivate another person, they have to do it themselves. They are responsible for getting themselves up on time and to school. I did all that b.s. driving them around and it wore me down to a nub. Save yourself while you still have a pulse! And come here for support when you need it. (I commend you for walking in the a.m., if you do it. I used to go with another doormat mom, around a high school track at 7:30 a.m, with our water bottles or hot tea, depending on temperature, and the time went by so quick while we were gabbing about our sad little situations. I got firmer thighs from it.) [/QUOTE]
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Can't tell when to help and when to step back!
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