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<blockquote data-quote="Gone" data-source="post: 640312"><p>My problem is I can detach from my difficult child and her drinking and smoking weed if it is just HER involved as an adult , but when my GRANDSON is involved as he IS , THEN it becomes a different issue / matter and a serious / vital one as in THEN I HAVE to be involved somewhat / keep an eye on her / watch her / find out what she is doing and either even possibly be WITH her to ENSURE my GS is OK OR with her permission take him to a place of safety ie my house IF she is going to be drinking or smoking cannabis</p><p></p><p>She usually wants him with her even when partying with friends as they have kids too so they just get together for ''support'' ( cough ) and leave the kids to play ( and fight ) together but I am NOT happy about leaving my GS with special needs in that enviroment , he needs CALM and routine and peace and gentleness NOT chaos and distress and frustration and helplessness bless him!</p><p></p><p>So I am going to have to watch her like a hawk in some ways if she is allowed to have my GS back as if it was 'just her' I could get on with my life and leave her to it , and hope for the best of course as I do want her well , but to leave my GS in any potentially unsafe enviroment NO I CANNOT AND WILL NOT DO IT .... Cannot follow her around everywhere I suppose but I can offer to have him with me instead if she wants to party or even chill out with her friends and some family members but if not she USUALLY invites me to come along which I don't enjoy but to be the one responsible adult to supervise my GS yes I will come along and enjoy being with him even if it means taking him out for a walk / to the local park on our own to take him out of the CHAOTIC enviroment</p><p></p><p>I do not understand why youngsters LOVE CHAOS , ok FINE if you have no kids , or a babysitter , have your fun and excitement etc but with a CHILD IN YOUR CARE it changes or should change everything surely???</p><p></p><p>What is wrong with being a ''homely Mum''???....</p><p></p><p>It's NOT boring , there is always SOMETHING to do or be getting on with in the home and it is a calm and settled enviroment and NICE to have the peace and security of a routine , but I suppose I have realised when my difficult child is / WAS WELL she DID like the homely , peaceful things it was / is just the drinking , agitated , stress related lifestyle / inner problems which are 'making' her seek others who are having problems as well so they can 'understand' and support each other whereas the ones promoting just peace and calm are just the goody goody fun destroying naggers! LOL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gone, post: 640312"] My problem is I can detach from my difficult child and her drinking and smoking weed if it is just HER involved as an adult , but when my GRANDSON is involved as he IS , THEN it becomes a different issue / matter and a serious / vital one as in THEN I HAVE to be involved somewhat / keep an eye on her / watch her / find out what she is doing and either even possibly be WITH her to ENSURE my GS is OK OR with her permission take him to a place of safety ie my house IF she is going to be drinking or smoking cannabis She usually wants him with her even when partying with friends as they have kids too so they just get together for ''support'' ( cough ) and leave the kids to play ( and fight ) together but I am NOT happy about leaving my GS with special needs in that enviroment , he needs CALM and routine and peace and gentleness NOT chaos and distress and frustration and helplessness bless him! So I am going to have to watch her like a hawk in some ways if she is allowed to have my GS back as if it was 'just her' I could get on with my life and leave her to it , and hope for the best of course as I do want her well , but to leave my GS in any potentially unsafe enviroment NO I CANNOT AND WILL NOT DO IT .... Cannot follow her around everywhere I suppose but I can offer to have him with me instead if she wants to party or even chill out with her friends and some family members but if not she USUALLY invites me to come along which I don't enjoy but to be the one responsible adult to supervise my GS yes I will come along and enjoy being with him even if it means taking him out for a walk / to the local park on our own to take him out of the CHAOTIC enviroment I do not understand why youngsters LOVE CHAOS , ok FINE if you have no kids , or a babysitter , have your fun and excitement etc but with a CHILD IN YOUR CARE it changes or should change everything surely??? What is wrong with being a ''homely Mum''???.... It's NOT boring , there is always SOMETHING to do or be getting on with in the home and it is a calm and settled enviroment and NICE to have the peace and security of a routine , but I suppose I have realised when my difficult child is / WAS WELL she DID like the homely , peaceful things it was / is just the drinking , agitated , stress related lifestyle / inner problems which are 'making' her seek others who are having problems as well so they can 'understand' and support each other whereas the ones promoting just peace and calm are just the goody goody fun destroying naggers! LOL [/QUOTE]
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