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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 198441" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Regarding the school problems and the need for people to back off, it helped me a great deal to get anal about the iep and refuse to sign it until they started changing wording that implied intentional and willfull behavior instead of symptommatic behavior (this doesn't mean difficult child never gets punished-) and get them to start incorporating more strategies to help him prevent problems and learn more (we're still working on this). </p><p></p><p>It took many iep meetings and head-banging between me and sd, a few calls to Special Education attny, several letters sent to higher ups, etc. Other helpful tools- a letter from psychiatrist stating diagnosis and the printouts that a member here sent me about educatiing the BiPolar (BP) child (I think that was Smallworld who helped me on that <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ). </p><p></p><p>Anyway, my son had the same frustrations and problems at school and rages at home that you are describing until the iep started changing. He still has issues (periodic raging, depression, stress), but there is a great improvement. </p><p></p><p>Another thing, I have emailed difficult child's principal and case manager and told them that difficult child and I are working on problem solving at home (based on the concept from The Explosive Child) and asked for their cooperation in working with difficult child at school as he takes initiative to solve his perceived problems there. They do this (much to my amazement) and it has been very effective for difficult child to learn that if he goes to a certain person at school and talks about something bugging him, they will discuss solutions to that issue with him. It took a few meetings, hand-holding, etc., but this is a far cry better then when he just copped an attitude over something then did something to get himself written up. </p><p></p><p>I give him a small bonus in his allowance if he identifies a valid problem or concern and brings it to the attention of someone in authority (for instance, when there really wasn't enough time to put his instrument up, go from the band room to the opposite corner of the school to his locker, then return to the same part of school to PE class and change clothes); and he gets a little more of a bonus if he proposes a solution and brings it up for discussion and approval. He gets that bonus whether or not his particular solution is accepted. </p><p></p><p>So, it cost me $5 or $8 for him to solve that problem at school but he did it on his own, didn't buck the system and actually improved his repoirte with people up there instead of getting written up. I was emailed a compliment (SHOCK) instead of having to take time off work for a meeting or recieving one of those dreaded phone calls. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p>I've tweaked the way we implement the CPS model quite a bit, but the concept is the same and it's working, at least in some areas. </p><p></p><p>Have you tried this yet?</p><p></p><p>Regarding the amount of work overwhelming him- we had to get difficult child in a learning strategies class (study hall for kids with IEP) and it's in his iep that they are to work with him during that time to help him stay caught up on homework, classwork, and projects. Then, if he's really stressed or been majorly symptommatic, his amount of work gets reduced.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 198441, member: 3699"] Regarding the school problems and the need for people to back off, it helped me a great deal to get anal about the iep and refuse to sign it until they started changing wording that implied intentional and willfull behavior instead of symptommatic behavior (this doesn't mean difficult child never gets punished-) and get them to start incorporating more strategies to help him prevent problems and learn more (we're still working on this). It took many iep meetings and head-banging between me and sd, a few calls to Special Education attny, several letters sent to higher ups, etc. Other helpful tools- a letter from psychiatrist stating diagnosis and the printouts that a member here sent me about educatiing the BiPolar (BP) child (I think that was Smallworld who helped me on that :) ). Anyway, my son had the same frustrations and problems at school and rages at home that you are describing until the iep started changing. He still has issues (periodic raging, depression, stress), but there is a great improvement. Another thing, I have emailed difficult child's principal and case manager and told them that difficult child and I are working on problem solving at home (based on the concept from The Explosive Child) and asked for their cooperation in working with difficult child at school as he takes initiative to solve his perceived problems there. They do this (much to my amazement) and it has been very effective for difficult child to learn that if he goes to a certain person at school and talks about something bugging him, they will discuss solutions to that issue with him. It took a few meetings, hand-holding, etc., but this is a far cry better then when he just copped an attitude over something then did something to get himself written up. I give him a small bonus in his allowance if he identifies a valid problem or concern and brings it to the attention of someone in authority (for instance, when there really wasn't enough time to put his instrument up, go from the band room to the opposite corner of the school to his locker, then return to the same part of school to PE class and change clothes); and he gets a little more of a bonus if he proposes a solution and brings it up for discussion and approval. He gets that bonus whether or not his particular solution is accepted. So, it cost me $5 or $8 for him to solve that problem at school but he did it on his own, didn't buck the system and actually improved his repoirte with people up there instead of getting written up. I was emailed a compliment (SHOCK) instead of having to take time off work for a meeting or recieving one of those dreaded phone calls. :D I've tweaked the way we implement the CPS model quite a bit, but the concept is the same and it's working, at least in some areas. Have you tried this yet? Regarding the amount of work overwhelming him- we had to get difficult child in a learning strategies class (study hall for kids with IEP) and it's in his iep that they are to work with him during that time to help him stay caught up on homework, classwork, and projects. Then, if he's really stressed or been majorly symptommatic, his amount of work gets reduced. [/QUOTE]
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