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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 199294" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Kathie, I know it's armchair quarterbacking, but just for the heck of it, what would have happened if you arranged for your difficult child to spend 1/2 hr with-your other kid's friends in the garage, and then told him his time was up, and then gave him a special reward, spent time with-him, whatever you do to transition him? IOW, approve of limited time with-them.</p><p>Would that have made it worse? It's possible he wouldn't have been able to disengage (he would have wanted to spend the entire night with-them) but then again, maybe giving him permission for a short time would have prevented the escalation.</p><p>In cases like that, I've tried it both ways just so I can see what happens. My kids are living experiments, in a sense. I cannot guess, I just have to try it and see if it works.</p><p>I agree with-other posters, that this is shades of "normal" behavior, multiplied because he is a difficult child. The part that in my humble opinion is <em>not</em> normal is the rage, and the <em>extent of the rage</em> that he threw when he was back in the house with-you. EVERY kid wants to be with-cool older siblings, especially someplace "cool" like the garage and with-"cool" older kids. I would have made a plan to make it happen, with-o encroaching too much on the older kids. Sort of like what Greene says in The Explosive Child. Then again, maybe it wouldn't have worked. As I said, it's armchair quarterbacking.</p><p> </p><p>Sorry to be so forgetful, but what sorts of social anxiety do you have and what sorts of communication difficulties? I can't tell if you're just being really modest <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> or if you really have a phobia. Believe me, we ALL have problems with-the school systems and people we feel we need to explain ourselves to. Would it be possible for you to work that into your profile at the bottom of the page? I am SO forgetful lately I want to shoot myself. </p><p> </p><p>Best of luck. So sorry it's been so frustrating for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 199294, member: 3419"] Kathie, I know it's armchair quarterbacking, but just for the heck of it, what would have happened if you arranged for your difficult child to spend 1/2 hr with-your other kid's friends in the garage, and then told him his time was up, and then gave him a special reward, spent time with-him, whatever you do to transition him? IOW, approve of limited time with-them. Would that have made it worse? It's possible he wouldn't have been able to disengage (he would have wanted to spend the entire night with-them) but then again, maybe giving him permission for a short time would have prevented the escalation. In cases like that, I've tried it both ways just so I can see what happens. My kids are living experiments, in a sense. I cannot guess, I just have to try it and see if it works. I agree with-other posters, that this is shades of "normal" behavior, multiplied because he is a difficult child. The part that in my humble opinion is [I]not[/I] normal is the rage, and the [I]extent of the rage[/I] that he threw when he was back in the house with-you. EVERY kid wants to be with-cool older siblings, especially someplace "cool" like the garage and with-"cool" older kids. I would have made a plan to make it happen, with-o encroaching too much on the older kids. Sort of like what Greene says in The Explosive Child. Then again, maybe it wouldn't have worked. As I said, it's armchair quarterbacking. Sorry to be so forgetful, but what sorts of social anxiety do you have and what sorts of communication difficulties? I can't tell if you're just being really modest :) or if you really have a phobia. Believe me, we ALL have problems with-the school systems and people we feel we need to explain ourselves to. Would it be possible for you to work that into your profile at the bottom of the page? I am SO forgetful lately I want to shoot myself. Best of luck. So sorry it's been so frustrating for you. [/QUOTE]
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