Caring for my sick son

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Diana1, May 26, 2016.

  1. Diana1

    Diana1 New Member

    I have been lurking in this forum for some days. Finally I decided to join here. I have a son. He is 6 years old. I'm a single parent. Ever since he was born he was affected by infections. I'm so worried about him. He is diagnosed with ear and throat infection. His hearing is impaired due to the infection. Doctors have finally ruled a need for surgery. I don't have anyone else to help. My boy needs 2 to 3 weeks of care post surgery. I will have to be absent for my job for this this. I'm worried, how I will manage everything
  2. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Active Member

    Welcome, Diana. I think you will have to be brave and ask for help. Ask people from your past. Past friends. Cousins. Neighbors. Your local church. Ask people who have children who will understand that you and your son need support during this time. There are people out there who will be happy to support the two of you.

    I know you are very worried about your son. I offer you a big :group-hug:for your hurting mother's heart.
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  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Is he getting ear tubes? Two of my kids needed that, one three times.
  4. Praecepta

    Praecepta Member

    Also ask what to do at the hospital where he will have his surgery - ask a social worker type. You are not the first one in this predicament. They may (or may not) have suggestions / solutions. Some children's hospitals have a "Ronald McDonald House" nearby and other programs which might be helpful to you. So ask, ask, ask! Read the following...
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  5. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi Diana, and welcome.

    My oldest kiddo has multiple disabilities - over the years we've had some serious complications/illnesses, and I've found myself having to be responsible for things that BC (before children) I thought only medical professionals took care of.

    Moms rise to the occasion. Every darn time. Doesn't matter what's going on, moms are somehow able to keep themselves together to be effective caretakers and advocates. Absolutely, it's terrifying when you know something new and foreign is coming up, but when the time comes, you *will* be able to manage it all.

    Think of all you've had to deal with thus far - repeated infections, investigation of causes, medications, doctors, specialists - I can only imagine. You've navigated your way through it. You have arrived at what will hopefully be a permanent solution. You're worried out of your mind, and that's normal in my humble opinion, but.... you will come through it just fine.

    From a practical standpoint, I'd suggest keeping a notebook for you to jot down questions and answers. If you don't understand something, keep on asking until you do. I don't care if you have to ask 100 times (and I don't care if the medical staff get impatient - some can be snippy - remember that at the end of the day they are working for you and your son) - information is power and confidence.

    Stock up on comfort items beforehand, for your son and for you. You want hospital and home to be as comfortable and stress free as possible. Favorite stuffed animal (his *and* yours, lol), comfy clothing, snacks if they will be permitted. Once you get home, movies or music or games... whatever nurtures you both.

    Pain management - nothing makes me flip out faster than a kid in pain and professionals who are not immediately responsive. Make sure you discuss this (if it applies) in detail beforehand.

    Paper plates/cups at home. Forget housekeeping during recovery unless it fits in with your day and *you* are up to it.

    Sleep when he sleeps. When my kids were younger and sick, I either slept in their rooms or they slept on the couch (a big treat, lol) and I just slept on floor or recliner or wherever. Remember to eat - you need the nutrition. Shower/makeup/matching clothes if they make you feel better - I know some people feel "whole" when they have their mascara and blush; I'm the kind of mom who will find matching socks and my lipstick after the crisis has passed.

    Keep a phone by your side. Call when in doubt. Every time. Again, the medical professionals are working for you and part of their job is to support and guide you through recovery. See if you can get one or two nursing visits at home if you're really concerned about your ability to care for him (though I really believe you will be able to handle this with flying colors - you're a mom!!! :) )

    When he was younger, I made more than one ER/doctor visit for nothing more than my son crying uncontrollably (he is nonverbal). Yep, I was a frazzled panicked mom who had nothing more specific than a crying kid, but I needed reassurance that he was okay. Most the time he was - a couple times he had the beginning of bladder infections that I would only have picked up on when they became more severe. I will never feel silly or stupid for seeking out reassurance.

    FOLLOW YOUR GUT. You are his mom. You know him best.

    And as his mom, if you do have to flip out (and sometimes we just have to), do it out of eye/ear shot of your son. You are invincible in his eyes, you're mom, you fix everything. Keep a positive, caring, and calm attitude around him. Fake it if you have to. Your composure will speed his recovery.

    I still have moments of thinking .... "What the *heck* am I doing? Who on earth thought it was a good idea to put *me* in charge of this amazing kid? How am I supposed to know how to do X, Y, and Z???" But... it does all work out.

    I hope surgery goes smoothly for you guys and he recovers quickly. Let us know how things are going.
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  6. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    HI and welcome, Diana!

    Do you have any vacation/sick leave available?

    Are you traveling out-of-state or is the surgery local?

    Do you have relatives near?

    WHat are your main concerns?
  7. Sister's Keeper

    Sister's Keeper Active Member

    Are you in the States? Have you applied for FMLA?