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Substance Abuse
Carol Burnett about her daughter " I had to love her enough to let her hate me"+
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 589310" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Grief is exactly the word, Signorina. We have lost our children while they are still alive. Imagine the grief you see expressed when a parent loses a child to death. Imagine the community support, the testaments to the character and worthiness of the dead child. Imagine the child's memory, sacred and sacrosanct in the mother's heart. Imagine the mother's courage as she picks herself up and goes on with her life.</p><p></p><p>We have none of that. While we have, indeed, lost our children...not only can we not grieve ~ publically or privately ~ but we are shamed by our communities and even by our families and ourselves, for what has happened to our children. We agonize over what went wrong, what to say (or what we should have said), how we must have handled this, that, or the next thing badly for this to have happened to our child.</p><p></p><p>There was a thread here once, years ago, addressing the question of whether it was more painful to lose a child to death, or to lose one to drugs. It was decided, I believe, that while those of us who haven't yet lost our children sustain repeated shocks, and exist in an ever-deepening, downward spiral right along with our drug-addicted kids...at least we have hope.</p><p></p><p>At least we know it isn't over.</p><p></p><p>And that is something to hang onto.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 589310, member: 1721"] Grief is exactly the word, Signorina. We have lost our children while they are still alive. Imagine the grief you see expressed when a parent loses a child to death. Imagine the community support, the testaments to the character and worthiness of the dead child. Imagine the child's memory, sacred and sacrosanct in the mother's heart. Imagine the mother's courage as she picks herself up and goes on with her life. We have none of that. While we have, indeed, lost our children...not only can we not grieve ~ publically or privately ~ but we are shamed by our communities and even by our families and ourselves, for what has happened to our children. We agonize over what went wrong, what to say (or what we should have said), how we must have handled this, that, or the next thing badly for this to have happened to our child. There was a thread here once, years ago, addressing the question of whether it was more painful to lose a child to death, or to lose one to drugs. It was decided, I believe, that while those of us who haven't yet lost our children sustain repeated shocks, and exist in an ever-deepening, downward spiral right along with our drug-addicted kids...at least we have hope. At least we know it isn't over. And that is something to hang onto. [/QUOTE]
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Carol Burnett about her daughter " I had to love her enough to let her hate me"+
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