Thank you all for your encouraging words of support.
A little background: In the last year Carson has gained 30+ pounds. He was VERY skinny before--the ADHD medication he was on gave him NO appettite. We added Abilify to help with his moods but it caused weight gain with little to no effect on his moods. So we switched to Respiridone. His weight went CRAZY. He is a few numbers away from being considered obese. Three weeks ago (give or take a day or two) we decided to take him OFF the Respiridone. He went into a manic episode. So we tried Trileptal. After another week--NO CHANGE. Still manic. So we put him BACK on Risperadone. Still no change. Calls from the Principal EVERY DAY--sometimes twice. Motor mouth. Less sleep. Kicking people. Calling me and teachers names. He was literally like the Tazmanian Devil. Swirling around, into everything. Exhausting me, his teachers, peers, siblings, family... He failed the writing portion of the STARR test--because he refused to do it. He has ran out in traffic, hid from me in a store because he was angry. Choked a girl at a local pizza eatery and had several crying jags over MINOR things (like he couldn't find the remote and it was the end of his world).
An emergency appointment with his doctor and we decided to hospitialize him.
The attending doctor is planning on discontinuing his Strattera (60mg) and cutting back on his Clonodine (0.2mg). Leaving his Risperdone (1.5mg) and Celexa (I think its 10mg) as is...for now. And adding Depakote. He has therapies (group and individual) scheduled all day...but he hasnt attended any yet (refusing). They are tentatively thinking he will be there for about 7 days but it could be more.
The day he was admitted he was very hyper, manic, excited to be there. 3 hours later when I went back for visitation he was tearful, "bored", WHINY and clingy and asked to go home. But he didn't cry when I left. This morning he cussed out a nurse and refused to eat breakfast. I saw him after the "staffing" meeting and he had been sleeping...so he was quiet and clingy. Again he didn't cry when I left. He's already fought with the two other boys on his unit (not fist fights--yelling).
I came home last night and cried while I picked up his back pack and clothes off the floor. Even seeing his medication container was upsetting.
I told the doctor that my goal wasnt to leave with a perfect Carson. Just a better one than I brought in. But this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It may (may?) be harder on me than it seems to be on him right now. I can only see him for one hour each night (730-830). And I live an hour and 15 minutes away. Like I said, it's hard.