Case manager

[maril]

My difficult child (17, ADHD), husband, and I have an appointment to meet with a case manager tomorrow (difficult child is willing). This is where we have landed after marginally successful attempts at interventions at school, home, and psychiatrist/therapist's office to help with ADHD, as well as rule breaking and serious risky behaviors.

Several months ago, we were given the name of a case manager by difficult child's therapist, after I had expressed that we needed further intervention; that is, I had asked the therapist about summer camps for troubled teens, facilities like boarding schools, etc. The therapist suggested I call a case manager at the same facility.

For several reasons, I did not pursue this appointment with the case manager until now. I truly am just looking for a mentor type/mediator type to support and work with our family and don't know if a case manager is the right direction to go.

Thank you for listening! Any suggestions will be very greatly appreciated.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Marrilyne,

My two cents would be to make sure you have some specific examples of behaviors that need to be changed at both school and home prepared before the meeting. I would also sit down with husband and make a list of what expectations you have for your son. Since difficult child is 17, I would also question him - what issues does he feel he needs help with or what expectations does he have for the future. I would also tell the case worker just what you said here - you are looking for a mentor to help difficult child model the behavior he will need to succeed in both his academic and social interactions.

Let us know the outcome.

Sharon

 

[maril]

Thanks, LittleDudesMom. Good suggestions!

I have talked to both husband and difficult child separately (can't try to do it with them together - usually much conflict between the two; counterproductive) and will write down our collective goals and conflicts.

by the way, I can relate to the "foolish optimist" in your signature. Now, that's not a bad thing, is it? Being optimistic helps keep us going, doesn't it? LOL. Also, my daughter and difficult child have about the same age difference as your children. In your case, how nice that big sister is loving and protective towards little brother. Occasionally, my daughter tries to take her brother under her wing; however, the norm with daughter is that she becomes inpatient and exasperated with her brother, is stunned by his behavior, and lets me know that she would never have gotten away with what he does.

 

[maril]

Well, difficult child refuses to go to the case manager this afternoon; I had to cancel the appointment. He is angry with husband and I because he missed the bus again and once again we told him we cannot provide him a ride to school, which is about 15 miles from home. I am so sad for him. We are not permitted to see the case manager without him, as we were told difficult child must be willing to attend and be present at the meeting. We have to come up with another plan while he walks the streets, missing yet another day of school.

 

[bran155]

I can so relate. My daughter refuses to participate in anything!!! We also have a case manager as well as another social worker. We are scheduled to meet the new case manager on Wed., guarantee my difficult child wont be here. When the other sw comes to the house (weekly) she ends up giving me therapy as my difficult child does not come home for those meetings. It is very difficult to help a child who refuses to be helped. I know the struggle and how frustrating it is.

Good luck and hang in there.

 

[maril]

I am sorry to hear of your struggle. You sound like a strong and involved person and people like you are an inspiration to an old frazzled mom like me. Thanks much for the kind words.