A
AmericanGirl
Guest
Hi all. Been out of town twice in the last ten days and am just now catching up on posts.
difficult child called Tuesday night. Talked 2 hours. He knew I would be in town the next day and was trying to get me to agree to return the car and to give him, rather than the sober house, his spending money. No go...
I spent about 90 minutes with him Wednesday. From the moment he saw me, he was rude. Actually it started before then when he called and learned I'd get there before he was ready - he told me to park off to the side and wait in the car. It's 89 degrees....uhhh....NO.
I made him one of those custom photo books. 40 pages. 153 photos. He was so ugly when he got there that I chose to wait to give it to him. We left to go to lunch. He insisted on giving directions so we got lost. Were near the Walmart so I offered to stop and pick him up some snacks. $40 later, he was still rude. We stopped by the sober house to leave the sacks. I needed to speak to the manager. difficult child wasn't happy.
difficult child claims he cannot get job without car. Manager disagreed. Manager told him that everything he had, he owed to me. I remembered photo book and went to get it. Stood before difficult child and told him, "I know you have some bad memories from the last year or two, I hope that this will help you remember good memories from the past, I love you." difficult child flipped through it about 15 seconds and tossed it on a nearby chair.
He had told me he is on Steps 4-5. He told manager step 1. He may be sober but he isn't in recovery. Manager pressed him more about job. difficult child blew up. Left office. Hit vending machine. Other than once again defriending and blocking me on Facebook, that's the last I have heard from him.
I emailed manager afterward. Told manager that difficult child hadn't paid fines as agreed to court. Warrant likely out. Don't want to give him car and then have to go get it out of impound. difficult child needs to find job within walking distance or go to work somewhere that another resident is working so he can share rides. Manager agrees. Said I wanted to limit the spending money to $25 a week. I think that will put more pressure on him to find a job - or stop smoking - hopefully both.
difficult child is behaving like a three year old child who cannot have a 5th cookie before dinner. I'm tired of it. I left an abusive marriage and have no intention of supporting him while he treats me like this. I will pay his rent for now as at least he is safe there.
On a bright note, I went to my first visit with my nutritionist, etc. On the new plan for the 3rd day. It's tough but having something to focus on beside difficult child is just what I need.
difficult child called Tuesday night. Talked 2 hours. He knew I would be in town the next day and was trying to get me to agree to return the car and to give him, rather than the sober house, his spending money. No go...
I spent about 90 minutes with him Wednesday. From the moment he saw me, he was rude. Actually it started before then when he called and learned I'd get there before he was ready - he told me to park off to the side and wait in the car. It's 89 degrees....uhhh....NO.
I made him one of those custom photo books. 40 pages. 153 photos. He was so ugly when he got there that I chose to wait to give it to him. We left to go to lunch. He insisted on giving directions so we got lost. Were near the Walmart so I offered to stop and pick him up some snacks. $40 later, he was still rude. We stopped by the sober house to leave the sacks. I needed to speak to the manager. difficult child wasn't happy.
difficult child claims he cannot get job without car. Manager disagreed. Manager told him that everything he had, he owed to me. I remembered photo book and went to get it. Stood before difficult child and told him, "I know you have some bad memories from the last year or two, I hope that this will help you remember good memories from the past, I love you." difficult child flipped through it about 15 seconds and tossed it on a nearby chair.
He had told me he is on Steps 4-5. He told manager step 1. He may be sober but he isn't in recovery. Manager pressed him more about job. difficult child blew up. Left office. Hit vending machine. Other than once again defriending and blocking me on Facebook, that's the last I have heard from him.
I emailed manager afterward. Told manager that difficult child hadn't paid fines as agreed to court. Warrant likely out. Don't want to give him car and then have to go get it out of impound. difficult child needs to find job within walking distance or go to work somewhere that another resident is working so he can share rides. Manager agrees. Said I wanted to limit the spending money to $25 a week. I think that will put more pressure on him to find a job - or stop smoking - hopefully both.
difficult child is behaving like a three year old child who cannot have a 5th cookie before dinner. I'm tired of it. I left an abusive marriage and have no intention of supporting him while he treats me like this. I will pay his rent for now as at least he is safe there.
On a bright note, I went to my first visit with my nutritionist, etc. On the new plan for the 3rd day. It's tough but having something to focus on beside difficult child is just what I need.
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