gcvmom
Here we go again!
difficult child 1 and I were out running errands today. We're in Walmart and he's perusing the toy aisle when I come up to him and he's got a pack of Pokemon cards in his hand and asks me if he can borrow two bucks.
I'm taken aback because I know he gave me the last of his money to buy Wii points for him two days prior (and he doesn't get allowance 'til the first of the month). And two dollars is not going to cover the cost of the cards. So I asked him, how much money do you have and where did you get it?
He says, "I don't know where I got it." And then I immediately know he either found it somewhere at home or took it from someone. So I press for the truth.
He admits to having taken it from MY wallet when I stopped for gas just before we got to the store.
He apologizes and says he doesn't know why he took it and gives it back to me.
Of course, I have to tell him that I am VERY disappointed -- I state this very calmly, not a lot of emotion, but he knows I'm ticked. I point out that he is nearly 14 and is wanting us to give him more freedoms and privileges like a PHONE -- and I ask him HOW can he expect me to trust him and believe that he's mature enough for the things he's asking for when he pulls a stunt like this?
I said he could have just ASKED for the money if he felt he needed it that badly. Or offered to do something to earn it.
He's done this kind of thing a number of times -- stealing money from family members. I really don't trust him and I WANT to, but I find myself looking at him when we're in a store and wondering if he's going to go the next level and start stealing from stores.
Before we left, I asked him to show me what was in his pockets. They were empty. I HATE doing that, but he had his hands stuffed in them and I just couldn't give him the benefit today.
How much of this is normal? How much of this is difficult child-ness?
I talked to a therapist about this with difficult child about 6 months ago, and the message I got from the therapist (while difficult child was out of the room) was to give him more chances to be caught being good.
Am I the one who drives him to do this? Is he so anxious about not having money and wanting it and not wanting to be told no that he steals it?
I'm taken aback because I know he gave me the last of his money to buy Wii points for him two days prior (and he doesn't get allowance 'til the first of the month). And two dollars is not going to cover the cost of the cards. So I asked him, how much money do you have and where did you get it?
He says, "I don't know where I got it." And then I immediately know he either found it somewhere at home or took it from someone. So I press for the truth.
He admits to having taken it from MY wallet when I stopped for gas just before we got to the store.
He apologizes and says he doesn't know why he took it and gives it back to me.
Of course, I have to tell him that I am VERY disappointed -- I state this very calmly, not a lot of emotion, but he knows I'm ticked. I point out that he is nearly 14 and is wanting us to give him more freedoms and privileges like a PHONE -- and I ask him HOW can he expect me to trust him and believe that he's mature enough for the things he's asking for when he pulls a stunt like this?
I said he could have just ASKED for the money if he felt he needed it that badly. Or offered to do something to earn it.
He's done this kind of thing a number of times -- stealing money from family members. I really don't trust him and I WANT to, but I find myself looking at him when we're in a store and wondering if he's going to go the next level and start stealing from stores.
Before we left, I asked him to show me what was in his pockets. They were empty. I HATE doing that, but he had his hands stuffed in them and I just couldn't give him the benefit today.
How much of this is normal? How much of this is difficult child-ness?
I talked to a therapist about this with difficult child about 6 months ago, and the message I got from the therapist (while difficult child was out of the room) was to give him more chances to be caught being good.
Am I the one who drives him to do this? Is he so anxious about not having money and wanting it and not wanting to be told no that he steals it?