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Cautiously cautious
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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 505392" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>Exhausted - I so related to your reply. I guess that is the point, I can't FORCE more treatment. Truth be told, he's actually doing well right now. He is trying harder at school than he has tried in 2 years, he and his friends are recreating in much healthier ways and all of us parents are watching and checking with each other and all agree, they all seem to be doing much better. When he talks about the last year and not being an addict, he says he believes his problem was anger, he had problems with anger management that he now feels much more in control of. He used the pot to manage the anger which now he can do on his own. It is sort of the language from IOP, the drug use was a symptom for the larger problem and he feels he identified it and is in much better control of it. While I agree and I am thankful that the worst of his anger is over, he DEFINATELY still does not like to hear the word no, so we'll see if his anger escalates once he is living back home. He is also building up a lot of unrealistic expectations about driving privledges which we have yet to confront. It will be a year that he has been out of the home when he returns. I do feel and I have always felt, that the REAL solution is for him to function successfully in the real world. As some people have talked to me in the past about TBS placement, I felt that was too long-term and how would he learn to function in the real world? It's been bumpy, but it's also been consistant progress. Having had him in IOP, I also know that if he were to slip again, having him home and attending IOP would be a very viable option. I have never seen him so at peace as he was when he attended that program. So my plan is this, home he comes and we will be cautios, my boundary will be as it always is "no drugs in my home"; if he slips, it's back to IOP, if he refuses, that's when we send him away again. When he comes home we are requiring him to get a job. He refuses any school oriented activities, so he does have too much free time. I am hoping that having to be in the real world of work will also help push the maturity process along. It's so hard - so much worrying even when they are doing well, maybe even more so because there's always that waiting for the bubble to burst feeling. Yes, PTSD is the right term.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 505392, member: 12490"] Exhausted - I so related to your reply. I guess that is the point, I can't FORCE more treatment. Truth be told, he's actually doing well right now. He is trying harder at school than he has tried in 2 years, he and his friends are recreating in much healthier ways and all of us parents are watching and checking with each other and all agree, they all seem to be doing much better. When he talks about the last year and not being an addict, he says he believes his problem was anger, he had problems with anger management that he now feels much more in control of. He used the pot to manage the anger which now he can do on his own. It is sort of the language from IOP, the drug use was a symptom for the larger problem and he feels he identified it and is in much better control of it. While I agree and I am thankful that the worst of his anger is over, he DEFINATELY still does not like to hear the word no, so we'll see if his anger escalates once he is living back home. He is also building up a lot of unrealistic expectations about driving privledges which we have yet to confront. It will be a year that he has been out of the home when he returns. I do feel and I have always felt, that the REAL solution is for him to function successfully in the real world. As some people have talked to me in the past about TBS placement, I felt that was too long-term and how would he learn to function in the real world? It's been bumpy, but it's also been consistant progress. Having had him in IOP, I also know that if he were to slip again, having him home and attending IOP would be a very viable option. I have never seen him so at peace as he was when he attended that program. So my plan is this, home he comes and we will be cautios, my boundary will be as it always is "no drugs in my home"; if he slips, it's back to IOP, if he refuses, that's when we send him away again. When he comes home we are requiring him to get a job. He refuses any school oriented activities, so he does have too much free time. I am hoping that having to be in the real world of work will also help push the maturity process along. It's so hard - so much worrying even when they are doing well, maybe even more so because there's always that waiting for the bubble to burst feeling. Yes, PTSD is the right term. [/QUOTE]
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