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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 284971" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>It might be. Benjamin Bratt's character lays it out clear on the line about what does and doesn't help.</p><p></p><p>I don't know when it comes on tv, but you can watch it online at anytime. The entire first season is available. When you go to aetv.com then put the mouse over the word Videos and it will pop up with the show names. Then all you have to do is drag the mouse to where it says the Cleaner and you can select any one of quite a few episodes.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, I don't think this kind of intervention in your particular case would be any help. It is hard when our kids want different things out of life than we do, even if that is legal. When it is dangerous and illegal then it is so much harder. But stands, your son truly WANTS to live the life he is living. He thinks he can milk you for money for drugs or for trips to the doctor and pharmacy to get medications he doesn't need. </p><p></p><p>You have made the situation where he thinks if he says/demands/pleads with you enough that you will give in. So many many many times you have given in and given rides, food, doctors, money, places to stay, whatever that he is pretty dang sure he is tougher than you are and that you will cave if he is pitiful seeming enough.</p><p></p><p>It is just so HARD when you see the dreams and prayers for him disappear. I truly get that. I also know that with a toddler who screams and whines and wheedles and begs and bargains until you give in that the problem just gets worse. It isn't until you have stuck to your decisions and NOT given in that the small child learns. Every time the child gets their way by begging, tantrums, etc... you just create the situation where the child keeps tantrumming or whatever. </p><p></p><p>Every time you give in even a tiny bit to your son you have reinforced his ideas that if he works YOU hard enough he will get his way. But he isn't a toddler, and this game the two of you play where he uses, then comes begging and pleading to you until you finally give in, well, this game has life and death stakes. I knowyou didnt' mean for it to get to this point. Each time you think it will be the last time. You get all upset because he doesn't have a car, or rides, or whatever. </p><p></p><p>Somehow you miss the fact that every penny you spend on him for food, shoes, whatever means that he can use the money he does have to buy more drugs. Every single penny. He is an adult and at his age you were responsible for an entire family. He only has himself - by HIS choice. He is a very capable person - he has proved himself capable of a lot if doing it means drugs for him. If he turned that energy to work getting and staying clean, then he would have those things he keeps trying to get you to pay for.</p><p></p><p>Please remember that only HE can turn this around.</p><p></p><p>YOU can only turn around this obsessive focus on him and turn it to YOUR life and the lives of your other children. I commented to you on another thread that you need to see someone to figure out if medication could help YOU break the compulsion to worry and dither about his life. There are VERY effective treatments for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). MAny are the same antidepressant medications that many of us have used or are using, the difference is the dosage. Wiz was on a higher dose of his medications when we were trying to break the hold his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) had on him. </p><p></p><p>I am only saying this because I care, and because I see hope for a better life for YOU if you can get help for this.</p><p></p><p>Many hugs, and enjoy the show!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 284971, member: 1233"] It might be. Benjamin Bratt's character lays it out clear on the line about what does and doesn't help. I don't know when it comes on tv, but you can watch it online at anytime. The entire first season is available. When you go to aetv.com then put the mouse over the word Videos and it will pop up with the show names. Then all you have to do is drag the mouse to where it says the Cleaner and you can select any one of quite a few episodes. Sadly, I don't think this kind of intervention in your particular case would be any help. It is hard when our kids want different things out of life than we do, even if that is legal. When it is dangerous and illegal then it is so much harder. But stands, your son truly WANTS to live the life he is living. He thinks he can milk you for money for drugs or for trips to the doctor and pharmacy to get medications he doesn't need. You have made the situation where he thinks if he says/demands/pleads with you enough that you will give in. So many many many times you have given in and given rides, food, doctors, money, places to stay, whatever that he is pretty dang sure he is tougher than you are and that you will cave if he is pitiful seeming enough. It is just so HARD when you see the dreams and prayers for him disappear. I truly get that. I also know that with a toddler who screams and whines and wheedles and begs and bargains until you give in that the problem just gets worse. It isn't until you have stuck to your decisions and NOT given in that the small child learns. Every time the child gets their way by begging, tantrums, etc... you just create the situation where the child keeps tantrumming or whatever. Every time you give in even a tiny bit to your son you have reinforced his ideas that if he works YOU hard enough he will get his way. But he isn't a toddler, and this game the two of you play where he uses, then comes begging and pleading to you until you finally give in, well, this game has life and death stakes. I knowyou didnt' mean for it to get to this point. Each time you think it will be the last time. You get all upset because he doesn't have a car, or rides, or whatever. Somehow you miss the fact that every penny you spend on him for food, shoes, whatever means that he can use the money he does have to buy more drugs. Every single penny. He is an adult and at his age you were responsible for an entire family. He only has himself - by HIS choice. He is a very capable person - he has proved himself capable of a lot if doing it means drugs for him. If he turned that energy to work getting and staying clean, then he would have those things he keeps trying to get you to pay for. Please remember that only HE can turn this around. YOU can only turn around this obsessive focus on him and turn it to YOUR life and the lives of your other children. I commented to you on another thread that you need to see someone to figure out if medication could help YOU break the compulsion to worry and dither about his life. There are VERY effective treatments for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). MAny are the same antidepressant medications that many of us have used or are using, the difference is the dosage. Wiz was on a higher dose of his medications when we were trying to break the hold his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) had on him. I am only saying this because I care, and because I see hope for a better life for YOU if you can get help for this. Many hugs, and enjoy the show! [/QUOTE]
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