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General Parenting
Changing the mindset of victimhood....
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<blockquote data-quote="totoro" data-source="post: 11595" data-attributes="member: 3155"><p>This thread has obviously made a lot of us think about our pasts... I wonder how things would have been different for those of us that were abused, sexually, physically, mentally, if we had help as children? I am pretty sure Dreamer, Janet and I had no help until we seeked it out in our adult years. </p><p>I walked around in a fog pretty much most of my teens and early twenties. I filled my head with drugs and anyone who would spend time with me... I know Dreamer and I have shared a bit of our deranged youth and it is hard at times to be forced to feel strong...</p><p>When someone tells me if the things that happend to me happended to someone else they would not have survived... I always say one never knows. We seem to rise to the occasion. We find a way to live day to day, even if that is in a fog. For me the fog just gradually lifted as I found things I enjoyed- sports,reading,friends,college,environment,husband,my kids. But it took a long time and lots of mistakes. I think it was a fine line I was walking I could have gone either way, luckily I found the right path. </p><p>I look at my brother and even though he makes good money, he has not let go of any of the past. He has not come to terms with it. He will not aknowledge it and he remains angry and a drunk. He is abusive and lost. </p><p>I try to think that everything that has happened to me is what formed the person I am and forms the person I will be. I try to turn that into a good thing. I learned these things on my own, I don't know if they could have been taught???</p><p>I cring when people say I have a difficult child maybe 2 because I am strong enough to help them... WHY!!! They are trying to be nice but because I have suffered I am better at dealing with more??? Sometimes you want to scream no more OK! But we don't and we keep going and I hope the tweedles will find this in them also...</p><p></p><p>They are having a better intermission than most of us here and I think some of us turned out pretty darn good!!!</p><p>You are doing a good thing...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="totoro, post: 11595, member: 3155"] This thread has obviously made a lot of us think about our pasts... I wonder how things would have been different for those of us that were abused, sexually, physically, mentally, if we had help as children? I am pretty sure Dreamer, Janet and I had no help until we seeked it out in our adult years. I walked around in a fog pretty much most of my teens and early twenties. I filled my head with drugs and anyone who would spend time with me... I know Dreamer and I have shared a bit of our deranged youth and it is hard at times to be forced to feel strong... When someone tells me if the things that happend to me happended to someone else they would not have survived... I always say one never knows. We seem to rise to the occasion. We find a way to live day to day, even if that is in a fog. For me the fog just gradually lifted as I found things I enjoyed- sports,reading,friends,college,environment,husband,my kids. But it took a long time and lots of mistakes. I think it was a fine line I was walking I could have gone either way, luckily I found the right path. I look at my brother and even though he makes good money, he has not let go of any of the past. He has not come to terms with it. He will not aknowledge it and he remains angry and a drunk. He is abusive and lost. I try to think that everything that has happened to me is what formed the person I am and forms the person I will be. I try to turn that into a good thing. I learned these things on my own, I don't know if they could have been taught??? I cring when people say I have a difficult child maybe 2 because I am strong enough to help them... WHY!!! They are trying to be nice but because I have suffered I am better at dealing with more??? Sometimes you want to scream no more OK! But we don't and we keep going and I hope the tweedles will find this in them also... They are having a better intermission than most of us here and I think some of us turned out pretty darn good!!! You are doing a good thing... [/QUOTE]
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