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Chapter 2
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 88656" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>You know what, it <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> to know he's dating. The entire thing <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />. He had an affair when my mother was dyeing and less then 2 months later he is in another relationship. This just goes to show how much 27 years of marriage meant to him that he can't even take the time to deal with what happened before he moves on to the next relationship.</p><p></p><p>As far as I am concerned there is no chance. I have no desire to be with him. The thought of it makes me sick, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt me and doesn't make me so angry I want to call him up and scream at him. I don't want him to know how angry it makes me. I don't want him to know that it hurts. I can't even believe this is the type of person he has turned out to be after all these years. </p><p></p><p>Yes, I guess a big part of what was missing in our relationship was communication, because I had no idea he was unhappy enough to be out having an affair. </p><p></p><p>There are days that I feel o.k. There are days that I go on with my day and tell myself that I'm o.k. and I am strong and I can get throug this and be a strong independant person. And then there are nights like tonight that I still can't believe this is where my last 30 years of my life has ended. </p><p></p><p>I know some of you don't understand why I need to know what he is doing, but I just do. His behavior is unacceptable and sickening, yet there are days that I blame myself and wonder if anything could ever change. I guess those are the days like today that I am lonely. I need to be reminded of what an idiot he is because I don't want to make a fool out of myself by giving into my feelings of being lonely and do something without thinking. I think if I didn't know all of these things he is doing I could be convinced by him that he's really sitting home missing me and doing whatever it takes to win me back. I can't let myself do that. </p><p></p><p>I guess today just hasn't been a very good day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 88656, member: 2442"] You know what, it :censored: to know he's dating. The entire thing :censored:. He had an affair when my mother was dyeing and less then 2 months later he is in another relationship. This just goes to show how much 27 years of marriage meant to him that he can't even take the time to deal with what happened before he moves on to the next relationship. As far as I am concerned there is no chance. I have no desire to be with him. The thought of it makes me sick, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt me and doesn't make me so angry I want to call him up and scream at him. I don't want him to know how angry it makes me. I don't want him to know that it hurts. I can't even believe this is the type of person he has turned out to be after all these years. Yes, I guess a big part of what was missing in our relationship was communication, because I had no idea he was unhappy enough to be out having an affair. There are days that I feel o.k. There are days that I go on with my day and tell myself that I'm o.k. and I am strong and I can get throug this and be a strong independant person. And then there are nights like tonight that I still can't believe this is where my last 30 years of my life has ended. I know some of you don't understand why I need to know what he is doing, but I just do. His behavior is unacceptable and sickening, yet there are days that I blame myself and wonder if anything could ever change. I guess those are the days like today that I am lonely. I need to be reminded of what an idiot he is because I don't want to make a fool out of myself by giving into my feelings of being lonely and do something without thinking. I think if I didn't know all of these things he is doing I could be convinced by him that he's really sitting home missing me and doing whatever it takes to win me back. I can't let myself do that. I guess today just hasn't been a very good day. [/QUOTE]
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