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Child envy
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 425367" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have long since accepted Sonic for who he is and stopped the delusion that someday he will go to college, get married, etc. If he does, it will be a surprise bonus. but I love him as he is and he is wonderful.</p><p></p><p>this does NOT mean that when I see a seventeen year old boy playing football or planning for college or taking a girl to prom I don't feel a pang of jealousy, but I try to make myself focus on something more productive. As Sonic turns eighteen, it is particularly hard to turn the other cheek, but I feel it is much better to channel the "jealousy" energy into enjoying him (he is a great kid) and helping him have the most independent, most fulfilling life he can have.Same with my Learning Disability (LD) daughter who struggles in school soooooooooo much, even when she tries hard, and will likely have to go to two year college rather than four...she is going to watch most of the girls on her basketball team go off to four year colleges (her best friends). But she is such a wonderful girl...it is not hard to move on from that and to help her be the best she can be. It's not always easy, but it's doable...and it's even possible to celebrate our wonderful children.</p><p></p><p>In my case I think it's harder on me than on them. Sonic really isn't interested in being indepedent or getting married and Jumper is pragmatic and realistic with an ability to accept things and move on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 425367, member: 1550"] I have long since accepted Sonic for who he is and stopped the delusion that someday he will go to college, get married, etc. If he does, it will be a surprise bonus. but I love him as he is and he is wonderful. this does NOT mean that when I see a seventeen year old boy playing football or planning for college or taking a girl to prom I don't feel a pang of jealousy, but I try to make myself focus on something more productive. As Sonic turns eighteen, it is particularly hard to turn the other cheek, but I feel it is much better to channel the "jealousy" energy into enjoying him (he is a great kid) and helping him have the most independent, most fulfilling life he can have.Same with my Learning Disability (LD) daughter who struggles in school soooooooooo much, even when she tries hard, and will likely have to go to two year college rather than four...she is going to watch most of the girls on her basketball team go off to four year colleges (her best friends). But she is such a wonderful girl...it is not hard to move on from that and to help her be the best she can be. It's not always easy, but it's doable...and it's even possible to celebrate our wonderful children. In my case I think it's harder on me than on them. Sonic really isn't interested in being indepedent or getting married and Jumper is pragmatic and realistic with an ability to accept things and move on. [/QUOTE]
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