Child support check two weeks late and ex won't give any money

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    We absolutely have NO food in the house. My child support check is almost two weeks late. I don't get my first paycheck from work till next Monday. I have already borrowed a couple of hundred dollars from my mom. She won't give me any more money. I asked the kids' dad if he could lend me some money until I get the child support check. He said no. Told me he was broke too. I told him I have absolutely NO money and no food and I have nothing to make the kids for dinner tonight. He still said no. I don't buy his being broke story. He makes WAY more money than I do, and I make a pretty decent living. He just doesn't want to give me any more than what he is paying in child support. I called child support this morning to see if they even have record of a payment being made this month. They said no they haven't received anything at all for almost a month. Meaning ex's boss hasn't sent them the payment like they are court ordered to do. Legally child support cannot demand payment until it's been at least thirty days since the last payment. So far it's been 27 days. I am not going to be seeing any money for at least five days. My only option at this point is to stop by our church and get a food box. We will be living off canned goods and top ramen for awhile. At least at lunch they get free at school. Still, they are going to be so mad at me when they find out I can't buy food. Damn my ex for letting his kids go hungry. I'm so mad I could spit! Wish me luck with difficult children tonight. I'm sure major tantrums will ensue when they find out there's no food except top ramen and canned peaches. Ugh.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Sweetheart... There is NOTHING wrong with canned peaches and Ramen, and WHY are they going to be mad at YOU?

    From the paying-side point of view, no, we wouldn't have given bio a dime, either. But then, the kids ate what I consider garbage (fast food, far more expensive than necessary) while there... And we would have been happy to have them dropped off for dinner. Not $$ but food. (She also bought a brand-new a 52" television while on food stamps at one point, so I'm more than a little biased there.)

    Also, go by the church, that is why it is there. For people who need it. That would be YOU.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Tell the kids what is up, but don't slant this against X. Let the kids know that the company X works for hasn't sent the money to court for child support. This takes the blame off you - without blaming X. Know what I mean?? The kids can draw their own conclusions.
  4. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Gas is an issue too. I only have enough gas money to get to work tomorrow. I will have to call in sick on Wednesday. Oh, and we live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with two very old TVs and only two beds. I haven't boughten myself anything new to wear in over two years. I don't spend money frivolously. Far from it. I don't buy clothes, shoes, go to restaurants, nothing. So asking ex for $20 to get me by till child support is not asking for too much. I was going to pay him back as soon as I got that child support check. It's not like I'm asking for extra money. I don't see how anybody could take his side on this one.
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    It's not taking his side... I was saying what we'd done.

    You need to talk to someone about food stamps, sweetheart. I pay taxes (and so do you!!!) so that worthy people can get HELP.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Go to the church and pick up the food. At least there is that source. Around here, most people who go to the food bank find it empty because so many are using it. Supply can't keep up with demand even though krogers brings in a semi full of donations once a month. My kids and I ate off the food pantry years ago for a year. Honestly, they never guessed. I am used to being poor and can make a creative meal out of just about anything.

    Is your income low enough to apply for emergency food stamps? If you don't know or it is, then do so, asap. (child support does NOT count as family income I believe) Once you do have money for food again, start sale hunting or going to places like sav a lot or aldi's and start stocking staples, long lasting food that is not easy to snack on but will be there should this happen again. Most canned food lasts far longer then the expiration date as long as the can is not dented or bloated. Most dried foods have a long shelf life as long as you have a way to keep mice or bugs out.

    I know it hoovers that your child support didn't show, I know (trust me I know) times are hard and food prices (as well as everything else) are going up up up. So you need emergency supplies laid into the house should this ever happen in the future.

    As far as the gas.........would a co worker consider giving you a ride to and from work until you can fill your tank again? If not, ask the church if there is somewhere you can go for gas money for work. Here you go to job and family services and they'll help with gas money. Keeping people in jobs is their goal.

  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I don't qualify for food stamps. I make too much money. Way too much. Normally I'm fine during the year but I'm extra broke from not working all summer.
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    You may qualify for a week's worth of emergency help... :hugs:
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    If you didn't work during the summer............well, go check it out. They only count the last 30 days. Seriously. So if you just started working again, you still may qualify, enough for emergency stamps anyway.........and you can specify that that is all you're wanting.

    Step, unless they changed things..........well, when they help, they give a months worth. Now this is halfway through, so depending on how fast it goes through......which emergency stamps can go through almost immediately, they'd give her the months worth. At least they did Fred and me the time we did emergency stamps. All I wanted was enough to tide us over until he got a paycheck......this was back when he was still doing temp work and they'd not had anything for him for like 3 wks.........he was to get paid in about a week........and they gave us a whole month's worth. I tried to give it back and take only what I needed.........should've seen the cw's face lmao. It was all or nothing, so we took it all and put it to good use.
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Is your child support monitored through Family Support Division? If not, open a case. That's the only way I got any money out of Useless Boy (aka Miss KT's father). It doesn't solve the immediate problem, but it does create a history of late or missing payments.

    Get what you can from the food pantry at church to get you through. Check if there's some way they could get you some gas money as well.

    Hugs. been there done that too many times to count.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You know what I miss? Those old government food lines. Remember when they would hand out those huge blocks of cheese, dried milk, peanut butter, and some other stuff they had in surplus. Sometimes rice, sometimes frozen chicken, sometimes other things. Oh my kids loved that government cheese! Depending on your family size, you got one block per every two people.

    Im glad you have a church and food pantry available to help you out. Trust me on this one, the kids will be fine. They truly dont realize things are bad if you dont make a big deal out of it. Act like its a treat to have whatever you get from the food pantry and they will be thrilled. One time when my kids were in elementary school we were completely broke. Tony was out of work for about a month and we were done to no money. All we had left was some PBJ, bread and oatmeal. Not even milk. We had butter, sugar and some kool-aid packets for the kids to drink. The kids ate pbj sandwiches at night and Tony and I ate oatmeal all day every day. With butter and sugar.

    One day a guy down the road offered us two of his older hens if Tony would kill them and pluck them. Oh heck yeah! Not good for frying but we could stew them for hours to make them tender and have chicken soup and chicken and rice. We were thrilled. We ate chicken sandwiches and chicken every which way we could do it. We were so happy to have chicken!

    Do you know my boys never even realized there was a problem? We talk about that time now and they just thought we liked PBJ and oatmeal and that we were happy about getting Boss's hens...lmao. They truly didnt know how very poor we were at times. They had fun, they ate, and they were loved. Everything else is gravy.
  12. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Ditto what everyone else has said. You may qualify for emergency food stamps. Also, look into a program....used to be called FAN, though I forget what that stands for. It's a federal food program and you get cereals, juice cans, rice, cheese, etc. mostly non perishables but you can work with that.

    Sucks, I know, been there done that. There's no reason the kids need to be aware of this situation unless you want them to be.
  13. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Call the school, talk to the guidance counselor there. I swear, there is money, food and resourses the guidance counselor can hook you up with, they know the best route to go to in order to get any programs you can qualify for. They do have money to buy things, the guidance counselor in our school used some to buy a student a backpack.

    Trust me, they can help you, just call.
  14. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Oh UAN is correct! I recall our district pretty much supplying a family with three children their school supplies and winter coats for a couple of years...and besides your church, see if neighboring towns have a food pantry. Food pantries often have fresh fruit, veggies and meats available.
  15. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I think you should go to dss and apply for emergency help. Even if they can't give it to you or help supply something helpful (but maybe they can- or at least tell you other places that can, that might get them to come down on your x harder to get the child support he owes you.
  16. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    She's not going to go to the school for help. She works there. Her Mom is well known as a retired counselor there.
    Nope that choice ain't going to happen and I understand that.

    on the other hand I remember supporting my Mom plus the three kids and having a commission check get delayed for a month. I ran a frugal household but knew I couldn't get thru with-o money. That was the one and only time I called Ex and asked if he could mail my chld support check ($150 a month by the way) early. His reply was "sorry but we just bought some new horses and feeding them is expensive too".
    What I did wouldn't be possible in 2012. But using collateral I got a very short term loan so we got by. I then began my seach for part time second jobs so I could build up a buffer. I'm sorry you are having a hard time.

    by the way, once this passes look more closely at where your income is going. It sounds as though you aren't extravagant but if you live in a modest apartment with three people it's hard to believe your income is too high to qualify for assistance. I personally know people who have easily gotten emergency food stamps regardless of income, churches that dispense food banks, government surplus distributions that I believe are Nationwide (thru County gov't here) and churches that help on a one time basis with electric bills or gas needed for work. I believe the help is there and when you are alone on your lunch break use your cell and seek out assistance to get you over the hump. DDD
  17. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet, that govt cheese was to die for! OMG was it good, and you got real butter too.......actually most of the stuff was really good. Everyone I know loved it. I miss it too.
  18. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well my mom broke down and gave me $40. I am using half for gas and half for food. Both difficult children eat lunch at school so all I have to worry about is lunch for me (I can skip breakfast a couple of days) and dinners. I can make $20 stretch over three days easy. What a relief. I did not want to do top ramen for three days. I hate the stuff. It tastes nasty and has a bunch of empty calories, fat, and sodium. If I had to do it, I would have, of course, but I was not looking forward to it. And my kids are old enough that yes, they would know something was wrong if that's all we had to eat. They're smart kids. They know I don't buy ramen noodles and canned fruit normally and they would definitely be questioning why. They don't like the stuff either. So my mom came through for me and for that I am grateful. My phone and cable got shut off and I was able to get my phone turned back on by promising to pay them when I get my first paycheck, since I have no idea when that child support check will come. Ex claims his boss sent it Thursday, but so far child support hasn't received it. Hopefully it will come quickly. I have the kids this weekend. Ex was supposed to have them but he canceled on me. It would be nice to have money over the weekend. We shall see. Oh, and for those of you who are suggesting food stamps, thanks for the suggestion but I already tried it once. In California, you can't get child support and food stamp at the same time. I don't qualify. Thank you all for your suggestions. We will get by with what we have for now. Just pray that check comes through by Friday!
  19. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Don't need to skip breakfast. $20 will easily get you eggs, milk, bread, peanut butter, chicken, rice, vegetables, if you don't buy name brands of everything. If you've got spices etc. in your pantry, you can make all kinds of things out of that for a few days.
  20. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well I just talked to child support and they said they finally received payment. I should have it in my account by tomorrow. But here's the thing. I got shorted $40. His boss did not send in the full amount. Plus, this is the only payment I am getting this month. I am supposed to get paid twice a month. So now I'm out more than half my money. I contacted child support and they say they can't legally enforce anything until October 5th. Even then, I may not get my money until he gets his taxes done and they intercept it. I don't need the money in January. I need it now. difficult child 2's birthday is next month. I am so p**sed off at his boss for doing this. And I know ex probably asked him to hold off a month and not send the courts any money. Why else would his boss not send it when he was supposed to? Pure laziness? There's no other explanation other than ex told him to do it. I am so mad right now I can spit! Oh well, at least I won't be broke this weekend and for that I am grateful.