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General Parenting
child welfare working (vent vent vent)
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<blockquote data-quote="neednewtechnique" data-source="post: 84063" data-attributes="member: 3527"><p>Our situation with CPS was a little different circumstances, but from everything that I have EVER heard, you are NOT the one responsible for going to court and asking for visitation for the children with your husband. If this situation came up in our county, the first thing they would do is set up a court hearing. At the hearing, they would determine whether or not to leave the children in your care, determine the things that your husband has to do in order to be allowed Visitation, and set a return date for court to come back and review. At the initial hearing, and at all the reviews thereafter, it would be up to your husband to ask for more visit time, etc. I remember our difficult child's bio mom had to go to the courts and ask when she wanted visitation after getting out of prison the first time. And after her visitation was granted, it she wanted more time, or wanted to try to start working towards monitored/unsupervised visits, she was the one that had to ask. And they would always ask my husband and I if there were any objections, and since she lived with us, they took all of our concerns into consideration before making a decision. But never ONCE did they expect US to do all the talking for her, if she wanted something, she had to do what they wanted, and she had to ask for it herself.</p><p></p><p>You mentioned that one of the pre-requisites was that he have a substance abuse evaluation done before he gets visitation. So this is what I would tell mother in law or whoever asks...if he hasn't had the evaluation yet, then you would be wasting your time anyway. </p><p></p><p>I would start taking notes about every conversation that takes place, because first of all, you do NOT want to get so wrapped up in what's going on that the duties of your husband and you get so confused that you miss something. Becuase they take every mis-step as a sign of "lack of concern for your child". We were lucky I guess, because our difficult child had a great caseworker. Her bio mom didn't like her so much because she demanded that she work for EVERYTHING they gave her in the way of visitation, etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="neednewtechnique, post: 84063, member: 3527"] Our situation with CPS was a little different circumstances, but from everything that I have EVER heard, you are NOT the one responsible for going to court and asking for visitation for the children with your husband. If this situation came up in our county, the first thing they would do is set up a court hearing. At the hearing, they would determine whether or not to leave the children in your care, determine the things that your husband has to do in order to be allowed Visitation, and set a return date for court to come back and review. At the initial hearing, and at all the reviews thereafter, it would be up to your husband to ask for more visit time, etc. I remember our difficult child's bio mom had to go to the courts and ask when she wanted visitation after getting out of prison the first time. And after her visitation was granted, it she wanted more time, or wanted to try to start working towards monitored/unsupervised visits, she was the one that had to ask. And they would always ask my husband and I if there were any objections, and since she lived with us, they took all of our concerns into consideration before making a decision. But never ONCE did they expect US to do all the talking for her, if she wanted something, she had to do what they wanted, and she had to ask for it herself. You mentioned that one of the pre-requisites was that he have a substance abuse evaluation done before he gets visitation. So this is what I would tell mother in law or whoever asks...if he hasn't had the evaluation yet, then you would be wasting your time anyway. I would start taking notes about every conversation that takes place, because first of all, you do NOT want to get so wrapped up in what's going on that the duties of your husband and you get so confused that you miss something. Becuase they take every mis-step as a sign of "lack of concern for your child". We were lucky I guess, because our difficult child had a great caseworker. Her bio mom didn't like her so much because she demanded that she work for EVERYTHING they gave her in the way of visitation, etc. [/QUOTE]
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