Childcare

[Mandy]

I am new here and posted to introduce myself over in the general thread, but had a question I hope you can help me with.My son has been kicked out of abt. 3 daycare centers, and his current babysitter is getting ready to call it quits. I can't stay at home with him because financially we just can't afford it right now. So my question's are:

What do you do abt. childcare for children with these disorders??

Are there special centers they can go to??

Thank you in advance for any advice you can give!!!

 

[totoro]

I know a lot of people that have asked for evaluation through Childfind. Which then can put you in pre-school and special services, it in theory is harder to kick your kid out when they are identified with special needs.
It is sometimes hard to fit the criteria though. Both of my girls are special needs, yet neither one qualified, they were not on the Spectrum or having academic issues and the SD would not acknowledge their vision, speech issues or sensory issues.
Our SD seemed to be focused on kids who were on the Spectrum at that time.
Can't hurt to check it out.

 

[SRL]

Daycare centers for difficult and/or special needs children are pretty much unheard of. I'm guessing they are probably in existence in larger cities but at very high cost to the parent.

I agree with Totoro to contact your local school district to find out about early intervention preschool. Some of those programs go all day. If he's being kicked out of daycares for behavior the sooner you take this step of having him evaluated, the better.

Another option which can work out well is to arrange for care in your home. If you have a university or community college nearby students studying special education or psychology can be good sources to tap into.

We do have parents who simply run out of options and find ways to make it on one income. A handful apply for SSI income from the govt, but that's really iffy, and I I'm sure would require a clinical diagnosis.

 

[Mandy]

Thank you for the information! I have been really disappointed in discovering that more cities do not have childcare for children that don't fit the "perfect" daycare model. I was speaking with my mom and I already had the idea of possibly finding a college student taking classes at night etc. that would possibly be willing to watch him. Right now my babysitter is still willing to work with us so I am going to buy two copies of the "Explosive Child" and let her have one to read. I had a discussion with her yesterday and hopefully we can keep her for awhile longer. I am trying to get all my options out there in case one day she "calls it quits" Thank you again!!

 

[BWest]

If it doesn't bother you to do so, would you post some of the characteristics your son displays that makes an ODD diagnosis possible. I'm curious because my son is three and his behaviors lead to this based on what I've read. He gets so angry so easily and fights when you put him in time out...by kicking, screaming and hitting...even at his preschool. He is usually (90%) loving and sweet...he has great empathy for others...except in his rages...he always apologizes afterwards and feels sorry....He argues a lot too...I'm just still in the stage of why is this happening? So, I would just like to hear about your son...it seems we might have similar stories.

 

[Mandy]

I wouldn't mind at all posting abt. him! I have read several books now, one being the Explosive Child which was GREAT, and The Bi-polar Child since I am actually leaning towards that because of his family history. However bi-polar children i read display a lot of ODD characteristics. His pedi brought up the ODD diagnosis but was not sure if this is his official diagnosis so we were referred out. Here are some of the things Cole does:

*Has rages where he hits, kicks, scratches, pulls hair. They can last for 2hrs or more.
*His automatic response to us asking him to do something is "NO"
*He gets frustrated very easily when someone talks while he is trying to get his sentences out
*Very intelligent
*Has to have VERY routined schedule or could have a bad day
*Can not get him to be on a routine sleep schedule, no matter what I have tried
*Has more problems with adults than children, however will hit, kick, or scratch if they are near him when he is in a "rage"
*Has very good days where he is a "perfect" child almost..
*Sometimes he will be annoying on purpose to us or his brother, can last for hours

Those are the one's I can think of right now! Let me know if you have any more questions and i would be glad to "try" to help

 

[Cathyliz]

Wow, I wish you lived near me. I'm a licensed family child care provider and I'd take your difficult child in a heartbeat! I'm actually listed on one of our local directories as specializing in ADHD and behavioral issues. See if any of your local child care referral directories has something like that in their listings. You may have to call and ask someone in person. It's awesome that your provider is willing to work with you--that's HUGE!!! Never EVER take her for granted! That alone to me screams that she truly is commited to her job. Have you seen the follow up book to "The Explosive Child"? It's called "Treating Explosive Kids". See if your local library has it. (I always try to do that before buying a book, but I still have a library full! lol)

Good luck with everything. My difficult child (15 now) is one reason I went into family child care--I knew he'd never last with anyone else! My nephew (also bipolar) was kicked out of 3 daycare centers before he was 2yo, and went on to get kicked out of several summer camps and high school. He's a senior now and so far, so good (as far as we know--we're in CO and they're in NC). My difficult child is in a therapudic day treatment center/school (freshman in high school) and doing well so far. Of course, it's only been a week and a half, but it's promising to know that he really can behave if he tries hard enough.

I'd love to hear updates when you can on how your difficult child is doing.

Cathy in CO
difficult child 1, 15, ADHD, Bipolar (probably ODD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), aspergers), abilify, invega, allergy medications
difficult child 2, 13, probably ADD, no medications
husband

 

[Mandy]

cathy~ I wish you lived by me too!!! I have seriously thought abt. staying home and watching other children just like Cole because i know how stressful it can be dealing with daycare's and sitters that dont understand!! I am trying really hard to make his sitter understand him, and I also bought her a copy of The Explosive Child to read herself. I am trying to give her all the tools I know. I will check our local directories and see if I can find someone, that is a very good idea!! The problem with my sitter right now is that she is not someone I would normally choose because she has dependability issues and a few other one's I wont mention. LOL But I feel "trapped" because of his issues

 

[Cathyliz]

I'm sorry you feel trapped. I hope you can find someone qualified and willing to work with you. Hugs

Cathy in CO
difficult child 1, 15, ADHD, Bipolar (probably ODD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), aspergers), abilify, invega, allergy medications
difficult child 2, 13, probably ADD, no medications
husband

 

[BWest]

Thanks for posting info. Its helpful to hear about other difficult children and hear the words of other moms....I'm still feeling kind of alone in all this.

 

[Mandy]

BWest~ Anytime!!! You do feel very alone in all of this! I look at other "normal" children sometimes and think WHY ME??? It's good to have other parents to chat with so you know you aren't the only one dealing with this every minute of every day!