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child's behavior affecting reputation
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 506274" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Oh sure, I have and it even affects family life with his cousins. they know he is disabled but still will not invite him at times and I have felt left out. I have had lots of practice saying I dont care what people think but truth is sometimes I wish for sure that I had a kid who was just acting neutral if not "good" in certain situations. My son is NEVER invited to play or to birthday parties etc. and he desperately wants to go.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I have really had to learn to develop a tough skin. Most people do not understand conditions that cause behavioral difficulties. Are you certain of her diagnosis? Could she be having other issues like adhd (impulse control issues), or subtle learning issues or minimal brain issues like auditory processing problems (sounds are not interpreted by the brain correctly including language or sorting through what sounds are important with competing sounds around)...</p><p></p><p>Could she have any form of social communicaiton problem... not reading non verbal cues well, not able to give and take in conversations and play?? could she be being bullied and needing to act tough to make sure she is not hurt (or maybe she perceives things this way?) is she depressed along with anxiety? </p><p></p><p>Does she have any sensory issues like being sensitive to sounds, sights, tastes, smells, touch or does she overly seek these things.... tune in to all of those sensory areas?</p><p></p><p>Have you ever considered a neuropsychologist evaluation? These are longer evaluations with psychologists who specialize in helping sort through how the brain works in relationship to behaviors/moods.</p><p></p><p>You are not alone... I think if someone joins in a "back lash" well...they are no real friend of yours. Every child deserves understanding and as long as you are trying then your daughter should have some support so she can feel encouraged. you will need that too.</p><p></p><p>Your reputation, I am sure that is harder in a small town but honestly I think this is a chance for personal growth. I HATE conflict and the judgement I feel... so I am having to deal with the fact that every day someone complains and even directly says something at times about me and my choices...uggg. I have improved greatly when it comes to just standing up for my son and not worrying what others think about him. But our children would do better if they could. I believe that. I have posted here before a saying that I believe.... WHEN OUR CHILDREN DESERVE OUR LOVE THE LEAST IS WHEN THEY NEED IT THE MOST. I know you love your daughter, not questioning that at all... it just inspires me when I am frustrated with my son. The issue is what your daughter is suffering thru. It is hard not to care about what others think, but you must put on what they call here a suit of armor... not just to fight for her rights but to protect yourself from the jabs. be her biggest cheerleader in public...people learn from our example how to treat our kids (and any others that have similar issues. ) (NOT easy to do... it is hard to like our kids when they are acting in an ugly way... there are two recent treads on just that topic and you will see you are not alone with those feelings.... sometimes we just have to act as if, no worries that you feel that way at times-- you are human I assume, LOL)</p><p></p><p>I tend to put my energy into finding solutions and sharing here so I can stay sane. I have redoubled my efforts to find therapy for my son (Occupational Therapist (OT), SPeech lang, PT and counseling. Counseling is for the effects of his disability but I have no illusions that it will stop his disability)</p><p></p><p>Hope you can find more resources for examining what is driving this behavior. It may be a developmental or physical issue (including mental healthy diagnosis like bipolar)</p><p></p><p>If you share more about her early development including any risks, milestone development/delays? , motor concerns? Language development? friendships since young...how did they play... sharing? imitating... can she play pretend play with others or does she run the show or skip back and forth imaginative kinds of play? </p><p></p><p>Take care.... you are not alone. I am glad you found us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 506274, member: 12886"] Oh sure, I have and it even affects family life with his cousins. they know he is disabled but still will not invite him at times and I have felt left out. I have had lots of practice saying I dont care what people think but truth is sometimes I wish for sure that I had a kid who was just acting neutral if not "good" in certain situations. My son is NEVER invited to play or to birthday parties etc. and he desperately wants to go. I have really had to learn to develop a tough skin. Most people do not understand conditions that cause behavioral difficulties. Are you certain of her diagnosis? Could she be having other issues like adhd (impulse control issues), or subtle learning issues or minimal brain issues like auditory processing problems (sounds are not interpreted by the brain correctly including language or sorting through what sounds are important with competing sounds around)... Could she have any form of social communicaiton problem... not reading non verbal cues well, not able to give and take in conversations and play?? could she be being bullied and needing to act tough to make sure she is not hurt (or maybe she perceives things this way?) is she depressed along with anxiety? Does she have any sensory issues like being sensitive to sounds, sights, tastes, smells, touch or does she overly seek these things.... tune in to all of those sensory areas? Have you ever considered a neuropsychologist evaluation? These are longer evaluations with psychologists who specialize in helping sort through how the brain works in relationship to behaviors/moods. You are not alone... I think if someone joins in a "back lash" well...they are no real friend of yours. Every child deserves understanding and as long as you are trying then your daughter should have some support so she can feel encouraged. you will need that too. Your reputation, I am sure that is harder in a small town but honestly I think this is a chance for personal growth. I HATE conflict and the judgement I feel... so I am having to deal with the fact that every day someone complains and even directly says something at times about me and my choices...uggg. I have improved greatly when it comes to just standing up for my son and not worrying what others think about him. But our children would do better if they could. I believe that. I have posted here before a saying that I believe.... WHEN OUR CHILDREN DESERVE OUR LOVE THE LEAST IS WHEN THEY NEED IT THE MOST. I know you love your daughter, not questioning that at all... it just inspires me when I am frustrated with my son. The issue is what your daughter is suffering thru. It is hard not to care about what others think, but you must put on what they call here a suit of armor... not just to fight for her rights but to protect yourself from the jabs. be her biggest cheerleader in public...people learn from our example how to treat our kids (and any others that have similar issues. ) (NOT easy to do... it is hard to like our kids when they are acting in an ugly way... there are two recent treads on just that topic and you will see you are not alone with those feelings.... sometimes we just have to act as if, no worries that you feel that way at times-- you are human I assume, LOL) I tend to put my energy into finding solutions and sharing here so I can stay sane. I have redoubled my efforts to find therapy for my son (Occupational Therapist (OT), SPeech lang, PT and counseling. Counseling is for the effects of his disability but I have no illusions that it will stop his disability) Hope you can find more resources for examining what is driving this behavior. It may be a developmental or physical issue (including mental healthy diagnosis like bipolar) If you share more about her early development including any risks, milestone development/delays? , motor concerns? Language development? friendships since young...how did they play... sharing? imitating... can she play pretend play with others or does she run the show or skip back and forth imaginative kinds of play? Take care.... you are not alone. I am glad you found us. [/QUOTE]
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