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Parent Emeritus
Chossing battles, setting limits ....
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 584299" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>Daisy,</p><p>i have cooled off a bit since last night. She's at work and, while I am going to confront her, I am working on choosing my words (and, thus choosing my battles .... AGAIN).</p><p></p><p>I understand what you are thinking as far as the wine and serving it to a guest. The problem is that she was told she may NOT open the wine - PERIOD. She can purchase it herself and share it here with a friend, but she cannot help herself. </p><p></p><p></p><p>If she had texted me and said "Hey - we would like to open a bottle of wine - we are out of funds, but I'll replace it." I would have said ok. </p><p></p><p>One of the things that has been a challenge with her - from a pretty young age - is that she doesn't seem to understand the concept of "special occasion" or "sometimes". If I allowed her to open the guest wine for one dinner guest, there would be dinner guests opening multiple bottles of wine several nights a week. In fact, one of the reasons I told her that she couldn't open the wine was knowing that she would open and consume every bottle in the house. I've learned to let this go with certain matters (I cannot, for example, stock up on certain food items or pop when they are on sale. It doesn't pay off, because she will consume the entire lot - no matter how much I buy. )</p><p></p><p>My biggest frustration comes from her absolute refusal to listen. She is lucky to be living here. She has a great thing going and I honestly want to give her the space and time to work and figure out how to manage her funds, etc. But, what she has to realize is that she cannot simply help herself to other people's things. It's hard for me to grasp that kind of thinking.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 584299, member: 9175"] Daisy, i have cooled off a bit since last night. She's at work and, while I am going to confront her, I am working on choosing my words (and, thus choosing my battles .... AGAIN). I understand what you are thinking as far as the wine and serving it to a guest. The problem is that she was told she may NOT open the wine - PERIOD. She can purchase it herself and share it here with a friend, but she cannot help herself. If she had texted me and said "Hey - we would like to open a bottle of wine - we are out of funds, but I'll replace it." I would have said ok. One of the things that has been a challenge with her - from a pretty young age - is that she doesn't seem to understand the concept of "special occasion" or "sometimes". If I allowed her to open the guest wine for one dinner guest, there would be dinner guests opening multiple bottles of wine several nights a week. In fact, one of the reasons I told her that she couldn't open the wine was knowing that she would open and consume every bottle in the house. I've learned to let this go with certain matters (I cannot, for example, stock up on certain food items or pop when they are on sale. It doesn't pay off, because she will consume the entire lot - no matter how much I buy. ) My biggest frustration comes from her absolute refusal to listen. She is lucky to be living here. She has a great thing going and I honestly want to give her the space and time to work and figure out how to manage her funds, etc. But, what she has to realize is that she cannot simply help herself to other people's things. It's hard for me to grasp that kind of thinking. [/QUOTE]
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