Christmas is Coming - do I put present down

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sadlady, Dec 23, 2007.

  1. sadlady

    sadlady New Member

    Christmas is upon us. I know that I should put only one present under the tree to make a statement but I know that would destroy my little girl. I have so many many gifts for her because I love her so much I bought her everything you could imagine. That's how my life was when I was a little girl. Lots and lots of presents under the tree on Christmas morning. My husband doesn't agree with me because he comes from a deprieved child hood. His Christmas were not as great as mine. I want Nikki to have the best Christmas's ever. This will probably be her last year of believing in Santa. I'm torn over what to do. I am a libra and don't like to be off balanced. Do you folks have any suggestions for me. I was thinking maybe putting 5 gifts under the tree - then hiding the other gifts in another room to see if that would make a statement. I'm torn - PLEASE HELP ME!!!
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hi and welcome to the board.

    I'm not 100% sure what you are asking. Are you considering giving her one present as opposed to the many that you bought her because of her behavior?

    We've had more than a few moms here lately who have become so discouraged by their kids that they have thought of doing the same. We understand. It is very hard. I say, let Christmas be Christmas. She's just little. I have a 7 year old daughter too.

    You found a safe, soft place to land. Get through the holidays, and then let's see if we can't help you get on the right track with your daughter.
  3. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Give her the gifts as planned. Just my opinion, but Christmas is not about earned gifts and quite frankly, she will not get the point you're trying to make anyway. You bought her the gifts out of love - that hasn't changed.

    I've always given at Christmas according to my heart's desires. In thank you's case, it's always with the full knowledge that everything will be destroyed in short order due to raging. Doesn't matter - I give because I love him. What he does with it is up to him.

    We've got the rest of the year to try to reach our kids.

    Just my opinion.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I have same questions as Kitty- has husband said "no presents this year" or something to this effect? When my difficult child started showing behavior problems- prior to diagnosis, medications, etc., I tried the time-outs- completely ineffective- then, losing priviledges and possessions - ineffective during really troubled periods- then, losing temper, slamming door, spanking, etc.- I REALLY regreet this now because no only was I reacting out of frustration, but difficult child now shows same reactions when completely frustrated. Anyway, a little more specific info about your current situation would help.
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Christmas is Christmas. Birthdays are birthdays. To take a child's holiday away because of behavior is, in my opinion, far more harmful than anything you can ever do to a child. The message then is that the child is so awful, they don't deserve love. There are many consequences a parent can give. There are many punishments that can be doled out. To me, taking something like Christmas away is unnecessarily cruel, especially to a 7 YO. If past Christmases were presents aplenty; if you bought her a lot of presents; if those gifts were bought because you wanted to and because you love her, there's no reason to not give them to her.
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    We keep our nativity scene under the tree until Christmas Eve, then we clear it away so Santa can come. My difficult child would not be able to handle looking at gifts under the tree before Christmas morning. The anticipation would be too much for her.