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Christmas update!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 641636" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It's always nice to take a long break from an abuser. Your daughter abuses her son with her wild behavior with him and not looking out for his safety. And she abuses you with her words, which are nonsense. It is her, not you.</p><p></p><p>I hope this foster home loves your GS so much that he can stay there and even get adopted. I truly don't think your daughter is stable and probably would not be even if she quit using substances, which seems unlikely. Sounds like, as in so many of our adult children who act like babies, she probably has a personality disorder, maybe borderline. Borderlines don't really know how to care for others unless they get intensive, extreme help with their own motivation and drive. I don't think it's just the alcohol making your daughter a bad mom. I hope that was not too harsh, but seems she has always had issues with authority and responsibility, traits that you don't lose just because you get sober.Some alcoholics try very hard to take good care of this children. Your daughter isn't one of them. She also, like personality disordered people, does not accept the blame, which makes it very hard for her to want to change. Takes a ton of hard work and determination and want to change your brain's wiring. She seems lazy.</p><p></p><p>Don't feel bad. Most of our difficult children are that way. That's why we are here. They do not just have minor issues!!! Many are horrid parents. It's all about them, ya know? The kids aren't first, the way WE put THEM first.</p><p></p><p>It would give GS stability and a stable home and you'd have peace of mind if he could stop moving back and forth and if the carers learned to love him as one of their own and decided to keep him with them and if SS looked at the truth and allowed it. Of course, regarding SS I realize I am dreaming...</p><p></p><p>Good work, Grandma!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 641636, member: 1550"] It's always nice to take a long break from an abuser. Your daughter abuses her son with her wild behavior with him and not looking out for his safety. And she abuses you with her words, which are nonsense. It is her, not you. I hope this foster home loves your GS so much that he can stay there and even get adopted. I truly don't think your daughter is stable and probably would not be even if she quit using substances, which seems unlikely. Sounds like, as in so many of our adult children who act like babies, she probably has a personality disorder, maybe borderline. Borderlines don't really know how to care for others unless they get intensive, extreme help with their own motivation and drive. I don't think it's just the alcohol making your daughter a bad mom. I hope that was not too harsh, but seems she has always had issues with authority and responsibility, traits that you don't lose just because you get sober.Some alcoholics try very hard to take good care of this children. Your daughter isn't one of them. She also, like personality disordered people, does not accept the blame, which makes it very hard for her to want to change. Takes a ton of hard work and determination and want to change your brain's wiring. She seems lazy. Don't feel bad. Most of our difficult children are that way. That's why we are here. They do not just have minor issues!!! Many are horrid parents. It's all about them, ya know? The kids aren't first, the way WE put THEM first. It would give GS stability and a stable home and you'd have peace of mind if he could stop moving back and forth and if the carers learned to love him as one of their own and decided to keep him with them and if SS looked at the truth and allowed it. Of course, regarding SS I realize I am dreaming... Good work, Grandma!!! [/QUOTE]
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