Oh my. When I got home from work everything was so perfect. House spotless, presents set up just perfect, meal cooking, kids waiting. Everyone knew I had a special gift that they were getting and that I was SO excited. I have been counting down the days for about 6 weeks. They even knew which one it was. I had 3 boxes all wrapped identical. After the wrapping paper was taken off, I had written on the two boys boxes...open, but do not speak until dad gets his. Well, both boys open, read and then sit there. Dad...he's dinking around with some paper and ribbons. I finally told him we are waiting on him. I cried. husband was so unbelievable touched. I could SO tell. He was even speechless. Then the boys were so pumped. Then, the very last gift I gave to each boy. easy child was 7 when we moved away from Grandma and Grandpa. First was the card, "to Grandson". They kind of looked at each other to see if they had the same card. Then my letter to each. Writing some very special memories. Especially with easy child. He had many more years to make the memories. easy child cried so hard. I could hear him sobbing. difficult child had tears streaming down his face. Then they opened the box. easy child looked inside and shut the box. difficult child took out his money and was counting. I asked easy child to count it. He cried. He just shook his head no. easy child was very, very, very close to his grandparents. And when we moved, he was always 7 years old to grandma. (literally, she never believed he grew up) He knows it. I shared with both my boys something grandpa said to me. My dad had parkinsons disease. When he had trouble walking I was always afraid and would be right next to him, afraid he would fall. One day he looked at me and said, "I am not afraid to fall". I told the boys that over the roughest times we've faced, any time I felt like I was falling, I heard those words. He gives me strength. Ironic that falling IS what was the end for him. He fell and broke his hip. Already was in the later stages of Parkinson's. But, he wasn't afraid to fall. I left that last part out of their letter. Xmas was very good. Really was so nice. But, I had to eat and go to bed because I had to go to work. easy child told me that girlfriend's birthday is the Saturday they will be in Pittsburgh. We laughed about it. easy child and girlfriend went to Green Bay for the weekend. Visit with cousin and my sister. Packer Game tomorrow. difficult child and friend and myself are going to Wisconsin Dells on Sunday - Wednesday. I promised this time I wouldn't get mad at him and make him "hang out" with me and go on water rides with me. I feel so fat. I have done nothing but eat. Sometimes just to stay awake all night at work. And, the next few days in the Dells, I don't drink, I can't hang out with difficult child, I think I'll just eat some more. Then back to work New Years Eve through next Sunday. HAH. THEN I'll quit eating.