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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 576451" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>PLEASE don't be afraid to go to a domestic violence center for help. His control truly is abusive, and you really will need help. That is where you will find a lot of help and resources, so don't let the idea that he didn't hit you keep you away. </p><p></p><p>The others have had great ideas, and you will find a lot of people willing to help. I know that the Catholic and Jewish churches esp have HUGE supports and are always willing to help. Not sure what part of OH you are in, but I am from Cincy and the Catholic church there is amazingly helpful. You do NOT have to be Catholic or Jewish or a member of a church to have that church help you, not at ALL. they will help ANYONE.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you got help when your son fell apart. Do NOT blame yourself for not seeing it before. Our kids don't come with directions. When your first kid has problems, how do you know? You don't have other kids to measure his progress or quirks against, so you really do not have a clue if he is 'normal' or not. He is normal for him, no matter what is going on. So it isn't your fault at all that you didn't figure it out. If I hadn't had a very violent older bro, I would NEVER have figured out that my difficult child had problems and looked so early for help. I just saw parts of my gfgbro that scared me starting to show up in my child. So we went to find help. Heck, half the teachers who worked iwth my son didn't think he had problems until he got stressed over something. So me not knowing for years? Would have been very very easy if I had not been the sibling of someone with them. </p><p></p><p>Tomorrow morning you need to go to the dept of human services and apply for foodstamps, TANF, etc.... Your husband will not like it because he will likely have to turn over info to them, but they can get that from HIM. As YOU have no money and no bank account, you will get immediate help. Be sure to take birth certificates and social security numbers with you for each kid and yourself. Call or visit the DV center tomorrow or tonight if you can as they can also help with some of this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 576451, member: 1233"] PLEASE don't be afraid to go to a domestic violence center for help. His control truly is abusive, and you really will need help. That is where you will find a lot of help and resources, so don't let the idea that he didn't hit you keep you away. The others have had great ideas, and you will find a lot of people willing to help. I know that the Catholic and Jewish churches esp have HUGE supports and are always willing to help. Not sure what part of OH you are in, but I am from Cincy and the Catholic church there is amazingly helpful. You do NOT have to be Catholic or Jewish or a member of a church to have that church help you, not at ALL. they will help ANYONE. I am glad you got help when your son fell apart. Do NOT blame yourself for not seeing it before. Our kids don't come with directions. When your first kid has problems, how do you know? You don't have other kids to measure his progress or quirks against, so you really do not have a clue if he is 'normal' or not. He is normal for him, no matter what is going on. So it isn't your fault at all that you didn't figure it out. If I hadn't had a very violent older bro, I would NEVER have figured out that my difficult child had problems and looked so early for help. I just saw parts of my gfgbro that scared me starting to show up in my child. So we went to find help. Heck, half the teachers who worked iwth my son didn't think he had problems until he got stressed over something. So me not knowing for years? Would have been very very easy if I had not been the sibling of someone with them. Tomorrow morning you need to go to the dept of human services and apply for foodstamps, TANF, etc.... Your husband will not like it because he will likely have to turn over info to them, but they can get that from HIM. As YOU have no money and no bank account, you will get immediate help. Be sure to take birth certificates and social security numbers with you for each kid and yourself. Call or visit the DV center tomorrow or tonight if you can as they can also help with some of this. [/QUOTE]
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