Classic Asperger's.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jamieh, Apr 17, 2013.

  1. Jamieh

    Jamieh New Member

    The psychologist spent about 2 hours with E today and talked with me for a while. He said he felt pretty sure that E has asperger's. We talked about all of his past struggles with preschool and how he is not able to maintain relationships with other kids. All in all he said he felt confident enough to make a diagnosis for him now. I filled out a ton of surveys and gave a brief history of his issues. He told me that most of the sensory stuff I brought up sounded like they were things that go along with Asperger's. He is supposed to go over the paperwork I filled out then write me up a report with an actual diagnosis. I feel weird. I've cried and felt stupid for crying. I knew he had all the signs of it...and I am glad to get an answer and hopefully a way to get him the help that he needs for school. I just wish for once I could hear 'your child is completely normal...have a nice day' and then I feel bad for wanting that. I don't want to change him. My husband was not surprised at all and said that once he started reading about asperger's then he was pretty convinced that was what E had. I am so glad to have his support with this. I still have E on a waiting list to see a dev. pediatrician...although I don't know if I should keep him on it? I asked his counselor and she said probably to still have him seen by him. We have a session with- his counselor and Occupational Therapist (OT) tomorrow. So I will pick their brains then. I did find an awesome place to take the boys to burn off energy today. We went to a gymnastics gym for the 'open gym' and for $3 and hour they can just play and play. They both loved it.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    Having an idea and thinking our children have something wrong is hard for any parent. Getting the actual formal diagnosis can feel like the "final nail in the coffin". You need to grieve the loss of the hope you were still holding on to. With the right interventions, E can overcome a lot of obstacles to a "normal" life and learn to deal with the other things as he grows older. I wish I had known my kids had these issues when they were E's age. I didn't have anyone to steer me in the right direction until I found this wonderful board when my boys were 12 1/2 years old. We have a lot of work to do in a short period of time. I see the struggles they have and are going to have and feel guilty for not KNOWING years ago. I feel responsible several times a day. It's normal to grieve the loss of our hopes and dreams for our children. It's a hard one to face. It's a whole new mindset. I'm glad you have husband to help you through it all. E is lucky to have you both.
  3. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Your emotions are completely understandable. You need time to process it all. What I also find hard to do once we finally get the asnwer (or we know we get the right final answer/diagnosis) is to move on and think of actual interventions and not analyse every single event in order to convince doctors that something is going on.
    It's like you have to do a mind shift: now I know something is off and it is call Asperger's in your case, let's build an effective treatment plan. Having to talk to the school, the recreational programs, talk to the siblings about the diagnosis and it's impact on life, etc...
    It is a process and I think everyone wil do it in its own way.
    Having your husband on your side is very precious!
    I personally saw the diagnosis as good news. Finally the fight was over in a sense: V's difficulties were agknowledge and it opened doors for him (therapy wise).
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Your child, today, is the same person he was yesterday.
    The diagnosis doesn't change the child.

    Asperger's doesn't get worse. With the right help, many of the challenges can be managed or work-arounds adapted. Many Asperger's kids with "normal" intellegence grow up to lead rich, full lives. They will always be "wired differently", but somehow, it's more of a problem before you grow up, than it is afterwards. An adult is allowed to have a major obsession... it's called a career. It can even be in a subject area that is obtuse and unusual - in areas most people don't even know exist - and it's still acceptable.

    So, go hug him - again. Remember, he's still the same, but the difference between yesterday and today is that the diagnosis becomes a bridge - to interventions, accommodations, therapies, understanding, learning... yesterday, you had no way to cross the chasm, today you are beginning the process of building bridges.
  5. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hi Jamieh. Ditto the sentiment that your feelings are completely normal, inevitable... of course you were shocked, saddened... it is a grief, yes. And now the new journey begins and you will get more and more attuned to it and accepting of it. From my experience! :)
    Wish I could remember what it was... I recently saw an interview with a young actor who had Asperger's; he had also just written a book. He seemed sensitive, mature, reflective, charming, and really you would never "know"... I think it may have been in French.
    Knowledge is power, of course... the younger you start, the better the final outcome for your youngster. I'm so glad you know, tough though it is.