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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 177926" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Janet</p><p> </p><p>The holding worked with Nichole. And because of that poem I knew to try. The making her talk about what she was thinking / feeling when she didn't want to also helped. Although it's tough to get her to talk during "the heat of the moment". But it allowed me to show her how her perceptions were off.</p><p> </p><p>But the trick with the talking is <strong>not</strong> to let yourself get emotional. Because it's probably not gonna be pretty, and much will be distorted. So an over emotional response can ruin an opportunity. I thought about that poem alot while Nichole and I'd talk. I'd have to remind myself the way I saw things was <strong>not</strong> the way she saw them. </p><p> </p><p>This is gonna come off callus, and if it does I wanna point out that I don't mean it that way, but I became rather blah over the cutting after a short while. I used it more as a tool to guage Nichole's stability. And it was a pretty darn good guage. I knew that if she was cutting it was time for me to open my eyes and pay more attention to what was going on with her.</p><p> </p><p>Janet, you wouldn't believe how utterly helpful that poem was to us. I still have it on my computer, and so does Nichole.</p><p> </p><p>And Walking on Eggshells is an excellent read. A must for any parent with a child with Borderline (BPD).</p><p> </p><p>(hugs)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 177926, member: 84"] Janet The holding worked with Nichole. And because of that poem I knew to try. The making her talk about what she was thinking / feeling when she didn't want to also helped. Although it's tough to get her to talk during "the heat of the moment". But it allowed me to show her how her perceptions were off. But the trick with the talking is [B]not[/B] to let yourself get emotional. Because it's probably not gonna be pretty, and much will be distorted. So an over emotional response can ruin an opportunity. I thought about that poem alot while Nichole and I'd talk. I'd have to remind myself the way I saw things was [B]not[/B] the way she saw them. This is gonna come off callus, and if it does I wanna point out that I don't mean it that way, but I became rather blah over the cutting after a short while. I used it more as a tool to guage Nichole's stability. And it was a pretty darn good guage. I knew that if she was cutting it was time for me to open my eyes and pay more attention to what was going on with her. Janet, you wouldn't believe how utterly helpful that poem was to us. I still have it on my computer, and so does Nichole. And Walking on Eggshells is an excellent read. A must for any parent with a child with Borderline (BPD). (hugs) [/QUOTE]
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