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Substance Abuse
College age daughter experimenting with drugs
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 616155" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi, holdin. Hope you are doing better today.</p><p></p><p>My own daughter is also one of those high IQ kids, but she is creative and walked to the beat of a different drum. I think her intelligence and actually being able to rationalize and think about the future saved her. She often relays a lightbulb moment she had when she saw a "friend" of hers without her normal long sleeves hiding her arms. The "friend" had needle marks up and down both arms and Daughter thought, "If I don't stop, this will be me." It was one of several "aha" moments that made her decide to quit...and she it cold turkey with no rehab and not even a therapist. But if your kid is willing to get help, I recommend it. Daughter suffered herself, but it was very hard for her. She told nobody when she detoxed and she didn't leave her brother's basement so he didn't see her either. This is her story relayed to me and she has no reason to lie and doesn't seem to lie about anything anymore.</p><p></p><p>Do not coddle your daughter. She will have no incentive to go through the hardship of quitting, even in a rehab, if she knows you will keep her warm and cozy. Let her take this walk herself. She will end up stronger in the long run. My daughter who used is a strong person and very focused now and is also very proud of herself for being able to get over some very hard times. </p><p></p><p>I think intelligence can really help our kids that go wayward because they are less apt to react in the moment than those who do not have that ability. </p><p></p><p>In no way can I guarantee that your daughter will decide to do the right thing. She certainly isn't there yet. But I don't want you to give up hope. At the same time, I also hope you don't enable her to keep doing what she is doing. I would not give her any money at all right now. And I think it's smart to limit your phone time with her.</p><p></p><p>It's time for you to start being good to yourself. It was a new concept to me to think that I am as important as my children, when a therapist first said that to me. I remember I said, "Not to me, I'm not." It took a long time for me to realize that I matter as much as my kids do. That helped me distance myself from difficult child drama and let them grow up.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you and hoping you have a good, peaceful day that you don't allow your daughter's drama to destroy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 616155, member: 1550"] Hi, holdin. Hope you are doing better today. My own daughter is also one of those high IQ kids, but she is creative and walked to the beat of a different drum. I think her intelligence and actually being able to rationalize and think about the future saved her. She often relays a lightbulb moment she had when she saw a "friend" of hers without her normal long sleeves hiding her arms. The "friend" had needle marks up and down both arms and Daughter thought, "If I don't stop, this will be me." It was one of several "aha" moments that made her decide to quit...and she it cold turkey with no rehab and not even a therapist. But if your kid is willing to get help, I recommend it. Daughter suffered herself, but it was very hard for her. She told nobody when she detoxed and she didn't leave her brother's basement so he didn't see her either. This is her story relayed to me and she has no reason to lie and doesn't seem to lie about anything anymore. Do not coddle your daughter. She will have no incentive to go through the hardship of quitting, even in a rehab, if she knows you will keep her warm and cozy. Let her take this walk herself. She will end up stronger in the long run. My daughter who used is a strong person and very focused now and is also very proud of herself for being able to get over some very hard times. I think intelligence can really help our kids that go wayward because they are less apt to react in the moment than those who do not have that ability. In no way can I guarantee that your daughter will decide to do the right thing. She certainly isn't there yet. But I don't want you to give up hope. At the same time, I also hope you don't enable her to keep doing what she is doing. I would not give her any money at all right now. And I think it's smart to limit your phone time with her. It's time for you to start being good to yourself. It was a new concept to me to think that I am as important as my children, when a therapist first said that to me. I remember I said, "Not to me, I'm not." It took a long time for me to realize that I matter as much as my kids do. That helped me distance myself from difficult child drama and let them grow up. Hugs to you and hoping you have a good, peaceful day that you don't allow your daughter's drama to destroy. [/QUOTE]
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