wantmysonback
New Member
My husband and I are at a loss at where we should find help. I know there are others who have walked the same road that we are on and will have advice for us. Thank you ahead of time.
A little history:
Our son is a rising junior in college. He has a solid B average, a great major that will lead to a successful career, a girlfriend of 2 years we love, and a great summer job delivering pizza where he spends his tips but has saved his hourly rate for spending money next year in school. He lives at home with us, is agreeable whenever we ask him to cut the grass or help around the house. He always arrives early for work and works extra shifts with no complaints if they need him. We give him no money for gas or anything. He does drive our car and has never had a ticket or abused the privledge. He sounds like a wonderful son and in many ways he is doing great but there is a dark side.
This is our dilemma. About 3 years ago he started smoking pot and our relationship with him was cordial but not the loving, close relationship we had with him his whole life. Last April, 2011 he was arrested for possession at college and put on probation. When he was home last summer he was not allowed to use our car, didn't work and took classes at a community college where he got a 4.0. We gave him no spending money at school or home after the arrest not wanting to fund his habit. We thought he had turned the corner and hit rock bottom with his arrest and and that he had stopped pot. We were wrong. Right before he left for college for his sophomore year he came home high. We drug tested him and he tested positive for pot. At a loss at what to do we let him return to school where he maintained good grades and began counseling. He finished the year with no other arrests and his 14 month probation at the university is now over.
That brings you up to date to this summer. He has been home now for about 5 weeks. Our relationship has improved greatly and we thought we had our son back. Wrong again. He will be living in an apartment next year and had a good friend that was to be his roommate. He confided in us that his roommate won't be returning to school because his parents caught him with meth. We have also met some "new" friends he has met at a local hookah bar who don't go to school and live on their own. Our gut tells us they aren't the best influence. Last night he came home under the influence of something.
We are at a loss at how to handle this. Please help. He is doing so many things right but we feel that his life is a ticking time bomb until the next arrest or a deeper addiction to a drug more serious than pot.
Please help...
A little history:
Our son is a rising junior in college. He has a solid B average, a great major that will lead to a successful career, a girlfriend of 2 years we love, and a great summer job delivering pizza where he spends his tips but has saved his hourly rate for spending money next year in school. He lives at home with us, is agreeable whenever we ask him to cut the grass or help around the house. He always arrives early for work and works extra shifts with no complaints if they need him. We give him no money for gas or anything. He does drive our car and has never had a ticket or abused the privledge. He sounds like a wonderful son and in many ways he is doing great but there is a dark side.
This is our dilemma. About 3 years ago he started smoking pot and our relationship with him was cordial but not the loving, close relationship we had with him his whole life. Last April, 2011 he was arrested for possession at college and put on probation. When he was home last summer he was not allowed to use our car, didn't work and took classes at a community college where he got a 4.0. We gave him no spending money at school or home after the arrest not wanting to fund his habit. We thought he had turned the corner and hit rock bottom with his arrest and and that he had stopped pot. We were wrong. Right before he left for college for his sophomore year he came home high. We drug tested him and he tested positive for pot. At a loss at what to do we let him return to school where he maintained good grades and began counseling. He finished the year with no other arrests and his 14 month probation at the university is now over.
That brings you up to date to this summer. He has been home now for about 5 weeks. Our relationship has improved greatly and we thought we had our son back. Wrong again. He will be living in an apartment next year and had a good friend that was to be his roommate. He confided in us that his roommate won't be returning to school because his parents caught him with meth. We have also met some "new" friends he has met at a local hookah bar who don't go to school and live on their own. Our gut tells us they aren't the best influence. Last night he came home under the influence of something.
We are at a loss at how to handle this. Please help. He is doing so many things right but we feel that his life is a ticking time bomb until the next arrest or a deeper addiction to a drug more serious than pot.
Please help...
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