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college student stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="40andup" data-source="post: 35996" data-attributes="member: 3661"><p>I just feel like I can't give up on him. He's my son and I love him beyond measure, but I have enabled him for the past three years. He was rolling along great in life. A 9th grader that played sports had a B average and lots of friends. Then he injured his knee in football, after two surgeries he had to quit sports, his best friend moved and he changed friends. He became a different person, and at each step I said that this wasn't so bad, he could be doing worse. Well worse keeps happening. </p><p></p><p>At 16 he stole his dads truck. While he was driving it a friend struck the rear end. To cover up that he had taken the truck, he did a lawn job on our house and had tire tracks that lead up to the truck, like they had struck it. My husband said he found grass in my sons wheels, but I couldn't believe he would do this.</p><p></p><p>At 16 1/2 he chased a boy around that had said some things about his girlfriend, he followed him to his home and threatend him with a bat. The police were called. He did community service and went to a scarred strait program. Told his father how he would never Go There!</p><p></p><p>Later that summer his girlfriend got in a disagreement with another girl. My son and his friend went out at 3:00 in the morning(when he was supposed to stay at a friends house, and shot her windows out. The police agreed not to press charges if he paid for the damage. After working all summer he paid off the $1200. </p><p></p><p>Late summer, he gets in an accident with his car with 4 friends in it (he was only supposed to have 1 friend at a time) Caused $5600. in damages. </p><p></p><p>Goes to a party that gets out of hand. He puches some kid in the nose. The kid calls the police. Since difficult child has a violent history police press charges. I hire an attorney for 1500. who is able to get charges dropped. I sign difficult child up for counseling.</p><p>Find out him and girlfriend have been off and on again. He really loved this girl, talked about marrying, having kids. Wanted to be like his dad and me, we met at 16. But he cheats on her and she finds out.</p><p></p><p>Finally she breaks up for good. difficult child sneaks out window that night</p><p>takes several pills, friends try to take him to the hospital but he runs off when they pull up to the hospital. He calls his girlfriend from under the Viadock on the express way. Telling her he just wants to talk to her one last time. The police trace the call and find him under that via dock at 6:00am, just as rush hour is starting. Would he have run out into traffic. He says he would never do that to me. But I am frightened by this. He is put in Havenwick psyc hospital and evaluated. In comparrison to the kids he's with he seems normal. He's diag</p><p>bipolar and oppositional defiant. No medications are giving and he's sent home. We go back to the psychologist. He seems fine says he doesn't need therapy. He appears happy makes a new friend I hope he's ok. But I find a suicide note in his room. Its from over a year ago. He appologizes to me in it. He seems to flucate from highs to lows. I am confused and supportive.</p><p></p><p>The psyc. puts him on adderal. He seems so impulsive. difficult child says this helps him focus his grades improve in school. I think he's going to make it. Then a friend visits from out of state. They have a party in the basement when we aren't home. We find them about 2:00am drunk. I think no big deal, I drank as a teen. Put the kids to bed say don't do this again. But this becomes a regular thing now. He's sneaking out all the time. We've put locks on the doors and alarmed the house, but he still gets out.My husband and I fight constantly about this now. He kicks son out for the weekend. But I want him to graduate from HS. My desparation makes me convince husband to allow him back. I can't help but think he's a good kid.</p><p></p><p>Several MIP's follow. Minor in possesion of Alcohol. One DUI, again I hire an attorney he gets the charges reduced and difficult child is monitored for alchol and drugs weekly. This is a good period. for us but not for him. The police now harrass my son. They pull him over constantly. He's been issued 5 tickets for random things. One night after working I call him because he's late for his curfew. The police have pulled him in for questioning. They want him to set up a drug buy. So he does, but the police find the guy is selling fake drugs. They are angry and leave the search warrant on the table with my sons name on it. The next day when he gets out of work, his tires are slashed and 3 guys are waiting for him. I guess that aggression he has finally comes in handy because he fends them off. But now all the kids hate him for narcing on them. He's very depressed. Although he does graduate, and gets in to college. After the summer comes to a close he's excited to start over at school.</p><p></p><p>But to close the summer out he goes to a party and gets another MIP. The judge is furious. He send difficult child to jail overnight, thanks to the attorney he dosen't spend the next 3 months in jail but gets to start college a week late, with alchol testing weekly and counseling. Says he'll tatoo his prison number on his arm because he's never going back. While he's under alchol testing things seem good. But the day! he is released from it, he gets another DUI. Still awaiting court date for that, then we go out of town and he steals from us. Can I really give up on him, but can I keep enabling him. My husband says he's not allowed back in the house and we won't pay for room and board at college(tuition is prepaid thru state MET program). I know this is right but I still want to set him strait. Is kicking him out the best at this point?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="40andup, post: 35996, member: 3661"] I just feel like I can't give up on him. He's my son and I love him beyond measure, but I have enabled him for the past three years. He was rolling along great in life. A 9th grader that played sports had a B average and lots of friends. Then he injured his knee in football, after two surgeries he had to quit sports, his best friend moved and he changed friends. He became a different person, and at each step I said that this wasn't so bad, he could be doing worse. Well worse keeps happening. At 16 he stole his dads truck. While he was driving it a friend struck the rear end. To cover up that he had taken the truck, he did a lawn job on our house and had tire tracks that lead up to the truck, like they had struck it. My husband said he found grass in my sons wheels, but I couldn't believe he would do this. At 16 1/2 he chased a boy around that had said some things about his girlfriend, he followed him to his home and threatend him with a bat. The police were called. He did community service and went to a scarred strait program. Told his father how he would never Go There! Later that summer his girlfriend got in a disagreement with another girl. My son and his friend went out at 3:00 in the morning(when he was supposed to stay at a friends house, and shot her windows out. The police agreed not to press charges if he paid for the damage. After working all summer he paid off the $1200. Late summer, he gets in an accident with his car with 4 friends in it (he was only supposed to have 1 friend at a time) Caused $5600. in damages. Goes to a party that gets out of hand. He puches some kid in the nose. The kid calls the police. Since difficult child has a violent history police press charges. I hire an attorney for 1500. who is able to get charges dropped. I sign difficult child up for counseling. Find out him and girlfriend have been off and on again. He really loved this girl, talked about marrying, having kids. Wanted to be like his dad and me, we met at 16. But he cheats on her and she finds out. Finally she breaks up for good. difficult child sneaks out window that night takes several pills, friends try to take him to the hospital but he runs off when they pull up to the hospital. He calls his girlfriend from under the Viadock on the express way. Telling her he just wants to talk to her one last time. The police trace the call and find him under that via dock at 6:00am, just as rush hour is starting. Would he have run out into traffic. He says he would never do that to me. But I am frightened by this. He is put in Havenwick psyc hospital and evaluated. In comparrison to the kids he's with he seems normal. He's diag bipolar and oppositional defiant. No medications are giving and he's sent home. We go back to the psychologist. He seems fine says he doesn't need therapy. He appears happy makes a new friend I hope he's ok. But I find a suicide note in his room. Its from over a year ago. He appologizes to me in it. He seems to flucate from highs to lows. I am confused and supportive. The psyc. puts him on adderal. He seems so impulsive. difficult child says this helps him focus his grades improve in school. I think he's going to make it. Then a friend visits from out of state. They have a party in the basement when we aren't home. We find them about 2:00am drunk. I think no big deal, I drank as a teen. Put the kids to bed say don't do this again. But this becomes a regular thing now. He's sneaking out all the time. We've put locks on the doors and alarmed the house, but he still gets out.My husband and I fight constantly about this now. He kicks son out for the weekend. But I want him to graduate from HS. My desparation makes me convince husband to allow him back. I can't help but think he's a good kid. Several MIP's follow. Minor in possesion of Alcohol. One DUI, again I hire an attorney he gets the charges reduced and difficult child is monitored for alchol and drugs weekly. This is a good period. for us but not for him. The police now harrass my son. They pull him over constantly. He's been issued 5 tickets for random things. One night after working I call him because he's late for his curfew. The police have pulled him in for questioning. They want him to set up a drug buy. So he does, but the police find the guy is selling fake drugs. They are angry and leave the search warrant on the table with my sons name on it. The next day when he gets out of work, his tires are slashed and 3 guys are waiting for him. I guess that aggression he has finally comes in handy because he fends them off. But now all the kids hate him for narcing on them. He's very depressed. Although he does graduate, and gets in to college. After the summer comes to a close he's excited to start over at school. But to close the summer out he goes to a party and gets another MIP. The judge is furious. He send difficult child to jail overnight, thanks to the attorney he dosen't spend the next 3 months in jail but gets to start college a week late, with alchol testing weekly and counseling. Says he'll tatoo his prison number on his arm because he's never going back. While he's under alchol testing things seem good. But the day! he is released from it, he gets another DUI. Still awaiting court date for that, then we go out of town and he steals from us. Can I really give up on him, but can I keep enabling him. My husband says he's not allowed back in the house and we won't pay for room and board at college(tuition is prepaid thru state MET program). I know this is right but I still want to set him strait. Is kicking him out the best at this point? [/QUOTE]
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