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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 373090" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I fully agree, Shari. If they feel there is no hope, then what can they do to help Wee?</p><p></p><p>What I'm trying to do is point out to you the arguments the school is likely to be either thinking, or actually saying to you. "The aides are at a loss because Wee really is beyond their ability to actually do more, than just keep him safe."</p><p>"We can't fix what is broken. All we can do is help prevent further damage."</p><p>"The aides are being realistic. You don't understand just how difficult it is to work with your son, he simply can't do the work and can't cooperate."</p><p></p><p>You need to be prepared for this, so you have your counter arguments ready. "I accept that your aides feel they cannot help Wee. I still need people around my son who at least are prepared to keep trying."</p><p>"There are techniques that work for me at home, which I feel would be of immense use to the aides. I would like the opportunity to workshop these techniques with the aides. It could also help them with other difficult students."</p><p>"If you believe my child cannot be helped, then you should refer him to a more appropriate placement. Why waste money and resources on a lost cause? But he is young, if there is any chance for him, then he needs the help now, not when he's graduated to the Department of Juvenile Justice system. If you will not refer him, then that means that you DO believe he can be helped. Therefore he needs aides who are prepared to help and to surround him with positive attitudes and NOT gossip about him."</p><p></p><p>It is very difficult for us as parents, Shari, because although we are experts on our own children, we are seen as biased in their favour and also untrained, compared to the professionals. But we should never let them discredit us or make us feel incapable of arguing for our children.</p><p></p><p>When we advocate for our children, we need to be as impartial as possible, as professional as possible and as determined as possible. The best way to be impartial is to know the opposing opinions ahead, and be ready to use this prior information against them as far as possible. That's why I always workshop an issue, just as I was doing here, in order to be ready with both barrels loaded and triggers racked back. It's amazing how it can take the wind out of the sails of school objections when you quote their own arguments and then in the next breath, shoot them down. Blam. Blam. Now what, Mr Principal? NOW will you help my child?</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 373090, member: 1991"] I fully agree, Shari. If they feel there is no hope, then what can they do to help Wee? What I'm trying to do is point out to you the arguments the school is likely to be either thinking, or actually saying to you. "The aides are at a loss because Wee really is beyond their ability to actually do more, than just keep him safe." "We can't fix what is broken. All we can do is help prevent further damage." "The aides are being realistic. You don't understand just how difficult it is to work with your son, he simply can't do the work and can't cooperate." You need to be prepared for this, so you have your counter arguments ready. "I accept that your aides feel they cannot help Wee. I still need people around my son who at least are prepared to keep trying." "There are techniques that work for me at home, which I feel would be of immense use to the aides. I would like the opportunity to workshop these techniques with the aides. It could also help them with other difficult students." "If you believe my child cannot be helped, then you should refer him to a more appropriate placement. Why waste money and resources on a lost cause? But he is young, if there is any chance for him, then he needs the help now, not when he's graduated to the Department of Juvenile Justice system. If you will not refer him, then that means that you DO believe he can be helped. Therefore he needs aides who are prepared to help and to surround him with positive attitudes and NOT gossip about him." It is very difficult for us as parents, Shari, because although we are experts on our own children, we are seen as biased in their favour and also untrained, compared to the professionals. But we should never let them discredit us or make us feel incapable of arguing for our children. When we advocate for our children, we need to be as impartial as possible, as professional as possible and as determined as possible. The best way to be impartial is to know the opposing opinions ahead, and be ready to use this prior information against them as far as possible. That's why I always workshop an issue, just as I was doing here, in order to be ready with both barrels loaded and triggers racked back. It's amazing how it can take the wind out of the sails of school objections when you quote their own arguments and then in the next breath, shoot them down. Blam. Blam. Now what, Mr Principal? NOW will you help my child? Marg [/QUOTE]
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