Communicating with difficult child

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by dstc_99, Mar 11, 2013.

  1. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Since our last therapy appointment in Mid February I haven't heard from difficult child except for the following texts I am going to describe.

    We are currently reviewing our bills to see where we can make some cuts and I realized we could save some money on our cell phones. We weren't using over 700 minutes of voice calls a month and we could drop $20 off our bill by dropping our plan down a notch. I changed the plan and then text difficult child, easy child, and husband to let them know that I had lowered the amounts and just to avoid using the phone for calls when you are sitting at home and could use the home phone. I immediately got the "what did you lower them too!!" text. When I said I lowered them to 700 minutes for the family she text back "how many minutes are you planning on the three of you using?" I replied that we didn't have a quota and that we never use over 700 minutes I was just making her aware that she should use the home phone not her cell for phone calls.

    We were told by the therapist at our last family appointment to have difficult child schedule the next appointment so that it showed she wanted to participate. I texted her that same day and let her know therapist wanted her to make the appointment. So 10 days after the cell phone text I get another text. "You should make an appointment with therapist for Wednesday but it needs to be at 10 or after, we cant stay another night in that hotel and traveling late." My reply to her was "therapist asked that you make the appointment that way you can chose a time that works for you. Why don't you have gma call and set it up since you are in school all day."

    Man she has some balls! First you throw a ***** fest because I ask you to use the home phone when making calls at home. Then you want to determine that you are getting your fair share of the minutes I pay for and limit our use to ensure your get them. She's a teenage girl. She uses less than 100 minutes a month on the phone. Probably because she has no time to talk while she is writing her 13000 text messages.

    Second after being told to make the next appointment with therapist she has the gall to text me and tell me to do it. Not only tell me to do it but exactly how she wants it so it works with her schedule and her guidelines. What pisses me off more than anything is that I have never told her or my parents that they can't stay the night at my house prior to therapy. I dont want them there but I am not so heartless that I wouldn't save them the expense of staying at the really crappy Motel 8 in town. (Boonies people I live in the boonies) If they would ask I would make it work. They dont ask though they just assume and then she shows up with the therapist and wants to throw a ***** fit about it.

    I think I did pretty well avoiding getting in to her drama and simply provided the details and then dropped it. This detaching **** is hard but I am getting better at it.

    PS my parents havent contacted me or my husband at all. Sound very grown up to you?
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

  3. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    It must be a difficult child trait to evpect everyone to do whatever they say, exactly as they say, and if you don't, there will be h*ll to pay!
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You're doing a really good job of detaching, it is hard, but you're doing it and it makes YOUR life more peaceful. Good job.
  5. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Uggggh! I wish I had some magical advice but I don't. difficult child's are selfish and most only think about themselves. Detaching IS hard and, while I haven't mastered it yet, I have come a long way in the last year. Stick with it bc it WILL make your life easier regardless of whatever drama difficult child tries to send your way.
  6. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys! It isn't easy and I have my times where I want to kick and scream and wallow but for now I am holding it together.
  7. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    LOL! I just got a text saying therapist has no appointments. Imagine that. I didn't take care of it and now it can't be done.