difficult child is currently incarcerated but due to be relaeased in about 7-8 weeks. He has not gotten into drugs but has a history of several serious illegal activities and has admitted "trying to do huffing" but says he couldn't figure out how to do it right- I do believe that somewhat. He has said enough to me that shows his attitude of wanting to get off parole, which he;'ll be on upon release, but then expresses interest in smoking pot. He apparently thinks he can get off parole, start smoking pot but it won't lead to any other serious problem even if he occasionally does cocaine or something, and hide it from me because he knows I would turn him in. Another concern is that when I try to advise him about transitioning back into mainstream and getting along with kids who haven't had the illegal activity he's had, he acts like he "has learned what he should have learned from his father and knows how to fit in now"- which by what he says means just trying to appear cool and tough. He's 15yo by the way- just turned 15. Anyway, I do think the lack of a father role in his life played a big part early on in his adding things up wrong in his own mind, but at this point, I honestly don't think he'd listen to a father even if he had his bio in the home. I realize that a lot of this is typical teen for a boy his age, but he IS a difficult child. I'm trying not to think in a black and white manner, but I see no in between here. Can someone help me with finding that? My heart wants him home but my head is giving up and thinking that if he's decided already just to play the system, hide whatever isn't allowed from me just to have me support him and provide him a home and take care of him, then forget it. But on the other hand, he's 15yo and has no place to go that wouldn't lead to mmore inappropriate behavior being condoned, encouraged, and possibly even abuse. So how do I prepare for this? If he comes home and messes up, I get blamed and lose custody anyway. The things I want for him- he acts like he wants to do well in school but he seems to think that he can do those other things and "be cool" with these guys and still do well in school and go to college. It isn't college that is the biggest issue with me- it's that he doesn't get that he's not going to get a dlap in the hand if he does drugs or gets in trouble again. He has a juvenile record. Do I give up on him? Do I detach like he was an adult? Do I bring him home and just try to get him out of the system, even when that means covering for him and puitting my rear on the line? Is there something in between?