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Concerned about treatment for grandson
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<blockquote data-quote="KTMom91" data-source="post: 417891" data-attributes="member: 4040"><p>GmaKate, I appreciate the fact that you love your grandson. However, you are only seeing one side of him even though he has been staying with you over spring break. Your post could easily have been written by my former mother in law, who accused me of "poisoning the child" when I started my daughter on medications, in addition to all the other horribleness I was responsible for by divorcing her son and remarrying. I can assure you that you do not have the entire picture regarding your grandson, his disorders, his difficulties, his home life, or his issues at school. You don't. And he won't magically "get better" by living with you.</p><p></p><p>Having her grandparents involved in her life was very important to my daughter, as I'm sure it is for Jeff. A visit with grandparents should be about fun and relaxation, but that isn't real life. Real life has stressful times. You say Jeff thinks he is the problem. Did he actually say that, or are you projecting your concerns onto him? If you are, he's likely picking up on that. It sounds like you do not like your former daughter in law, and whatever negative things you say about her around Jeff will be noted, and will upset him even if he doesn't show it. Believe me. Been there. With any snide comments or blame you're laying, you're making him feel like he has to choose between Mom, Dad, grandparents...and it's tearing him apart, adding to the stress level. If you're doing this, it will backfire on you. My daughter can barely tolerate being in her grandmother's presence now, and only visits her briefly out of politeness.</p><p></p><p>My advice to you would be to learn to work with your son and former daughter in law to do what is best for Jeff. Be supportive, attend his awards ceremonies/ball games, and show him how much you love him. Don't undermine his medical treatment or his relationship with his parents by offering unsolicited advice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KTMom91, post: 417891, member: 4040"] GmaKate, I appreciate the fact that you love your grandson. However, you are only seeing one side of him even though he has been staying with you over spring break. Your post could easily have been written by my former mother in law, who accused me of "poisoning the child" when I started my daughter on medications, in addition to all the other horribleness I was responsible for by divorcing her son and remarrying. I can assure you that you do not have the entire picture regarding your grandson, his disorders, his difficulties, his home life, or his issues at school. You don't. And he won't magically "get better" by living with you. Having her grandparents involved in her life was very important to my daughter, as I'm sure it is for Jeff. A visit with grandparents should be about fun and relaxation, but that isn't real life. Real life has stressful times. You say Jeff thinks he is the problem. Did he actually say that, or are you projecting your concerns onto him? If you are, he's likely picking up on that. It sounds like you do not like your former daughter in law, and whatever negative things you say about her around Jeff will be noted, and will upset him even if he doesn't show it. Believe me. Been there. With any snide comments or blame you're laying, you're making him feel like he has to choose between Mom, Dad, grandparents...and it's tearing him apart, adding to the stress level. If you're doing this, it will backfire on you. My daughter can barely tolerate being in her grandmother's presence now, and only visits her briefly out of politeness. My advice to you would be to learn to work with your son and former daughter in law to do what is best for Jeff. Be supportive, attend his awards ceremonies/ball games, and show him how much you love him. Don't undermine his medical treatment or his relationship with his parents by offering unsolicited advice. [/QUOTE]
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