Welcome to the site.
I really loathe the term "Oppositional Defiant Disorder". It seems to imply that the child is deliberately choosing, for his own malevolent reasons, to be as obnoxious and difficult as possible. In my own experience with this term it has been thrown out to us generally by people ready to throw their hands up in despair and walk away, a sort of "I don't have to try to help this child because by definition, nothing can be done."
Wherever you look, you can find a disorder that fits your child. If you don't look too far you risk stopping by the first one that seems a reasonable fit, not knowing that there may be 20 disorders, all of which could be your child.
I really think that those of us on this site should submit for professional publication, our own described disability - "difficult child Syndrome". Kids with this are generally socially inappropriate; tend to be disobedient and impulsive; prone to raging especially when baulked; may do well academically but at some stage begin to do very badly at school; resent authority and fight it. There may or may not be sensory issues as well, to the point of dysfunction.
This condition would be distinguished from "Spoilt Brat Syndrome" which tends to be induced in a child rather than inherited - the Spoilt Brat is one who has been indulged, never given consistency in discipline or even environment; has been raised indifferently but with enough money thrown at the situation to slide through, so they grow up to be aimless, to feel a need to seek attention in whatever way including antisocial means, to shock people and grab headlines, all because there is a deep-seated sense of insecurity and lack of real connection to parent figures. I don't think I need to go too far to suggest some possible high profile names.
It's a case of "seek and ye shall find". And for some specialists, if you can't find a label for it, invent one. Not just in this sort of disorder, either - I've seen it in other areas of medicine too. I remember one disorder name that had two different disorders fighting for the same label. One was a type of thyroid deficiency, the other was a copper toxicity in the liver. I've known doctors who were campaigning to have "their" pet disease accepted as a valid label (and of course named after them). One research team I had dealings with, "modestly" told a news crew that they expected to get a Nobel prize for their work, which later turned out to be the medical equivalent of a mathematical identity (an equation that boils down to the bleedin' obvious, such as 5 = 5).
So even if you are satisfied that the label is correct in your son's case - always be prepared for the label to still not be the best fit. Also do not accept at face value any pessimism, any description that says, "this is hopeless, untreatable, unfixable." Remember that 30 years ago, parents of autistic kids were told to put them in an institution and forget they had them. Same with other disorders such as cerebral palsy and Downs to name just a few.
Ideas change, knowledge changes, we learn more and you know where a lot of that knowledge comes from? It comes from US, the families. WE are the ones who say, "No, it's not like tat. Look what happens when we try this," and the doctors slowly see that perhaps the picture is different after all. Of course the doctors then do more formal stuff which includes observing, collating all the information, then writing it up - that is how it gets accepted into the scientific community. But the coalface is the family. The child himself, who also deserves some credit for working to overcome the disability.
ODD is a description. You put any kid in a situation which is blame-baased, where there is a constant competition for control int he child's environment, and especially where a child feels out of control, that the world round him is too un[predictable and confusing - and you risk ODD developing. If, in contrast, you change that environment away from blame, away from "Because I said so, that's why!" and more towards, "Let's work together to solve this problem," you can turn it round. Really. What is more, it is easier than continuing to fight a losing battle. Because once you find yourself engaged in a battle with your child, you have lost the war.
There is a book we recommend here called "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It's not a cure, but it helps a lot. Not in every case, but it's sure worth a look. I just wish we on this site got paid for recommending it!
Marg
