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General Parenting
Conduct Disorder, Step-parenting, & Military Life
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<blockquote data-quote="MrsJarheadSM" data-source="post: 465356" data-attributes="member: 12916"><p>Hi all! </p><p></p><p> For starters - hugs! If you're anything like me, you need them more often than not. My situation is incredibly unique as I am the wife of an active duty service member and a step-parent with no biological children (yet). </p><p></p><p> My youngest stepdaughter was diagnosed with conduct disorder (she does have ADHD but no mood disorders or learning disabilities attached to that diagnosis) officially yesterday. I have quite honestly expected that diagnosis for quite some time due to her behavior and resistance to any type of any structure, discipline, reward, etc that we have tried with her. She started exhibiting these behaviors while living with her mom before her dad and I got custody. The police were called to her mom's apartment numerous times either by mom or the neighbors. Bio-mom and my stepdaughter would get in all kinds of loud, outrageous fights. She was in the back of a cop car (never arrested) more times by the age of 9 than most people are ever. Her mom eventually checked her in to a three week state residential facility where my stepdaughter conned everyone (including her dad and I!!!) into believing that there was nothing wrong with her and that likely her mom was just exacerbating typical childlike behavior. We thought for certain with structure, love, and a warm, happy home she would be just fine - WRONG! </p><p></p><p> She has balked and manipulated every single behavioral plan we have put into place. She manipulates teachers and bullies. She lies CONSTANTLY. In 4th grade, she was caught stealing at the mall (by a parent, not the police) and paid a girl at school to take a test for her. Now in 5th grade, she has assaulted a fellow student on the bus and accused me (stepmom) of abusing her. </p><p></p><p> ANy ideas if ANYTHING works? Any step parents out there? Any tips on maintaining ones own sanity? My marriage is struggling right now, though I love my husband dearly, but have had to lock every ounce of personality and emotion up tight while I am in my home. I cannot show fear, anger, joy, laughter, frustration, nothing - because she will use every ounce of it against you. </p><p></p><p> Help! <3 Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MrsJarheadSM, post: 465356, member: 12916"] Hi all! For starters - hugs! If you're anything like me, you need them more often than not. My situation is incredibly unique as I am the wife of an active duty service member and a step-parent with no biological children (yet). My youngest stepdaughter was diagnosed with conduct disorder (she does have ADHD but no mood disorders or learning disabilities attached to that diagnosis) officially yesterday. I have quite honestly expected that diagnosis for quite some time due to her behavior and resistance to any type of any structure, discipline, reward, etc that we have tried with her. She started exhibiting these behaviors while living with her mom before her dad and I got custody. The police were called to her mom's apartment numerous times either by mom or the neighbors. Bio-mom and my stepdaughter would get in all kinds of loud, outrageous fights. She was in the back of a cop car (never arrested) more times by the age of 9 than most people are ever. Her mom eventually checked her in to a three week state residential facility where my stepdaughter conned everyone (including her dad and I!!!) into believing that there was nothing wrong with her and that likely her mom was just exacerbating typical childlike behavior. We thought for certain with structure, love, and a warm, happy home she would be just fine - WRONG! She has balked and manipulated every single behavioral plan we have put into place. She manipulates teachers and bullies. She lies CONSTANTLY. In 4th grade, she was caught stealing at the mall (by a parent, not the police) and paid a girl at school to take a test for her. Now in 5th grade, she has assaulted a fellow student on the bus and accused me (stepmom) of abusing her. ANy ideas if ANYTHING works? Any step parents out there? Any tips on maintaining ones own sanity? My marriage is struggling right now, though I love my husband dearly, but have had to lock every ounce of personality and emotion up tight while I am in my home. I cannot show fear, anger, joy, laughter, frustration, nothing - because she will use every ounce of it against you. Help! <3 Beth [/QUOTE]
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