Confession: I don't like my difficult child's girlfriend, at all

DDD

Well-Known Member
by the way, if the girlfriend has a college education :sigh: it does not mean that she has ever read a book that wasn't required by the school NOR does it mean she has any intellectual curiosity NOR does it mean she is going to pursue a job. True. DDD
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
I haven't got kids old enough to be at this stage either, but... it was one of the "elder" ladies (a grandma, or one of the great-aunts...) in the family that said that the more you dislike somebody that your child is seeing, the MORE you should see of them.

Show them what the family is REALLY like. Include them in FAMILY interests. If that means 2 weeks in a back-woods cabin... or the latest in musical theatre... or some off-beat musician... so be it. If it means borscht and perogies... or lefsa... or pickled herring... serve it.

The logic? they may see that your child really loves this stuff and they don't ... and chose for themselves to "leave". If they still stick around? Can't say you didn't "warn" them of what life is like in your extended family...

Not that everyone can do that... partly requires geographic proximity.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I was shocked almost out of my shoes when I was sitting in my middle son's living room trying to find something in common with his wife and asked her what type of books she liked to read and she announced to me "oh, I havent read a book since HS. Why on earth would I ever want to read unless I was made to do so?" LOL
 
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SuZir

Well-Known Member
ICdn (sorry, I never know how I should shorten your screen name ;)): That is a great idea. Though it seems that pickled herrings are not doing a trick, I think we served her at least seven different type of pickled herring during her Christmas visit and she hasn't yet run to the hills as far as I know. :rofl:

But seriously, that is a great idea. Especially considering my worries over her attitude towards our ethnic/cultural background. Till now we have made a polite host thing, we haven't used much of our first language when she is around but talked her first language (she does know basics of our first language, would learn quickly if she would hear it more) even then there has been 10 of us and she has been only one not having our first language. We have included her to those family things she seems to enjoy and avoided those she turns up her nose to. Maybe we should take her more in as one of us. Especially because difficult child doesn't seem eager to forsake his cultural background. In fact living on the area he is one of the very few of us has made him more pronounced about it and he takes pride of his heritage - even when he knows it irritates some people in his home town.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Around here, I've kind of become IC (I for insane, which anyone who knows me will vouch for, and C for my nationality)
<wink>

Yes, try loving that girlfriend to death. Treat her like she's a long-term keeper. Serve up difficult child's favorite foods, because she'll have to learn how to cook them <wink wink>... It either wins them over or sends them packing, and either way you win.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
I have to forewarn you guys I am "in my cups" tonight so my responses may be a bit rough around the edges, LOL. I have a daughter in law who does not cook. She fed their first toddler Oreos and coke when he had diahrea because "that's what makes my tummy feel better when I'm sick". OMG! When she and her husband (formerly my easy child, lol) are invited to dinner at someone's home HOLD YOUR HATS LADIES she has her husband stop at McD's and shows up with an empty bag telling the hosts "sorry I was hungry on the way". Her husband (FORMERLY my easy child) is a "honcho" in State Gov't circles and he let's her do her thing. I am, and have always been, a feminist. That's is just you'know'whattin' insane.

My most loved easy child/difficult child (a/k/a difficult child#1) SO is a "country girl". She does NOT eat lamb, seafood, steaks unless they are very well done and covered with gravy. She has never tasted a baked sweet potato, okra that is not fried, "cheese", etc. OMGoodness Sakes. If either of them "smells" a food.......NOT!

Go for it. Try for it. I hope you have success. Sitting around the dinner table noshing and laughing has been our family MO for fifty decades. These two "mates" can't even pretend to enjoy extended family dinners. I know I should be grateful that they are not mass murderers but........good grief! Great idea, Insane. Hope it works for others.DDD
 

SuZir

Well-Known Member
IC (thanks for clearing that out :)): Unfortunately I can't make her learn to cook those foods, difficult child is the one who does most of the cooking in their household. And he does know how to cook all those things already. And if he doesn't, he calls me and asks directions. And girlfriend is already baking him his favourite things (some reason difficult child rarely bakes even though he likes to cook.) Which of course brings me to other point. Someone who bakes his favourite muffins for my baby can't be totally evil, can she? When I look it that way, she does have other good characteristics beside not being a chainsaw murder I guess. LOL

DDD: I have been known to stop by a fast food joint on my way home after a dinner party a time or two, and certainly known to stuff my sons full of food before taking them to any party to avoid them wolfing down all and everything from the table, but admit it aloud? Yikes! That certainly is something. I have to also admit I think I have never eaten baked sweet potato or okra either. :rofl: Of course would eat if served (I eat almost anything, there are few things I avoid if any way possible because of the ethical reasons and quite a few more I don't cook myself, but eat if someone serves them to me), but both are rather uncommon around here. In fact I had to check from Wikipedia what okra is and even sweet potatoes have been commonly sold around here just few years (they don't really grow this north at all.) And because we are not adventurous folks, we mainly use them combined with something 100 per cent safe and familiar, so sweet potato casserole it is, when I cook them ;) But we are more of the potato, rutabaga, carrot, beetroot, parsnip kind of folk when it comes to root vegetables.
 
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