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Confused and stumbling parent
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<blockquote data-quote="totoro" data-source="post: 258872" data-attributes="member: 3155"><p>I don't know? LOL</p><p>I know alot about BiPolar (BP) but I am kind of lost when it comes to 16yo young men! </p><p>I would agree somewhat that yes as parents we need to keep changing our techniques. It is hard and it feels like we never get it right. </p><p>But if he really has BiPolar (BP), and it sounds like some issues possibly from moving from Dad's back to you, then he is still looking for stability. </p><p></p><p>I hate having to be firm with my 7yo, but it is vital. She needs a strict schedule, she needs consistancy. </p><p>Me having BiPolar (BP) also, I know that this is so important for stability.</p><p></p><p>I also know that strict discipline sometimes backfires, one thing our kids need and feel they have to have is control. </p><p>They tend to freak if they feel they are losing control. </p><p>Whether this is mentally, emotionally, physically etc.</p><p>It will cause anger, anxiety, mania... </p><p></p><p>We have to learn how to let them know they are indeed in control of their own lives, but we the parents still have *the control*. </p><p></p><p>It is a fine line, it is a hard thing to figure out and each family and child is different.</p><p></p><p>It is like for us letting K our 7 yo (very immature) get to choose between 2 outfits for school. </p><p>It still gives her control but not too much. It also alleviates too much for her to think about causing confusion or agitation. </p><p>Maybe things do need to taken away and then given back, as he gains back control and learns that he has control over his own choices. </p><p>That you are here to help him and you will help him. But he needs to try and help himself also. </p><p>I have learned that empathy is huge with my Daughter.</p><p></p><p>Another thing, most of our kids are VERY smart but emotionally and socially immature.</p><p></p><p>These are just a few things I could think of off the top of my head. </p><p>Not having boys or a teen! </p><p></p><p>Hang in there, this by no means is your fault, get that out of your head!</p><p></p><p>Oh, and you do not need to answer us individually! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="totoro, post: 258872, member: 3155"] I don't know? LOL I know alot about BiPolar (BP) but I am kind of lost when it comes to 16yo young men! I would agree somewhat that yes as parents we need to keep changing our techniques. It is hard and it feels like we never get it right. But if he really has BiPolar (BP), and it sounds like some issues possibly from moving from Dad's back to you, then he is still looking for stability. I hate having to be firm with my 7yo, but it is vital. She needs a strict schedule, she needs consistancy. Me having BiPolar (BP) also, I know that this is so important for stability. I also know that strict discipline sometimes backfires, one thing our kids need and feel they have to have is control. They tend to freak if they feel they are losing control. Whether this is mentally, emotionally, physically etc. It will cause anger, anxiety, mania... We have to learn how to let them know they are indeed in control of their own lives, but we the parents still have *the control*. It is a fine line, it is a hard thing to figure out and each family and child is different. It is like for us letting K our 7 yo (very immature) get to choose between 2 outfits for school. It still gives her control but not too much. It also alleviates too much for her to think about causing confusion or agitation. Maybe things do need to taken away and then given back, as he gains back control and learns that he has control over his own choices. That you are here to help him and you will help him. But he needs to try and help himself also. I have learned that empathy is huge with my Daughter. Another thing, most of our kids are VERY smart but emotionally and socially immature. These are just a few things I could think of off the top of my head. Not having boys or a teen! Hang in there, this by no means is your fault, get that out of your head! Oh, and you do not need to answer us individually! :) [/QUOTE]
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