Confused, would you like to post an update? Enquiring minds would like to know.... :O)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Scent of Cedar *, May 4, 2015.

  1. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    I have been watching, Confused, and have not see an update in a while. I hope all is going very, very well for you. Still, it is good to know we haven't been forgotten.

    And you haven't been.

    How are you?

  2. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Aww thanks Cedar :) You are just beyond wonderful!!!!!!!

    Well, to be honest, thats why I came on now. I have been sick( yes since January with various things.. I believe I know why but wont say until my tests get done and come back) Yes, this month is the big month, my Dr for a PAP and other testing, referral for mammogram and the Dentist!! Also a big month for both my kids as they go to the Pysch Dr, and hopefully start therapy after that Dr gives a referral ( for Occupational Therapist (OT) for both kids I think will help esp daughter) and anger management for son.

    Son has actually been a little calmer with 30mg of Daytrana patch with his nighttime clonidine( still trying morning as he says it makes him tired and sick ). Son says he concentrates better with 20mg( I dont think so but, we are going to still play with medications) and if he is diagnosed with Bipolar( Explosive disorder they call it now?) then hes off the adhd and on the mood stabilizers. He is really doing better with his homework/schoolwork when on the patch consistently. No not As but I dont care as long as he has a passing grade Im happy! Of course I want better for him, but him to function is the most important as is for daughter!

    Daughter... well, still trying to get her to want to do anything is not easy.. even if its with a couple friends shes known a long time and they still chat on the email. Schoolwork, well, she really needs to be more guided then other teens, so if I will basically sit with her and quiz her, read with her etc. If I ever get a job... haha.. I will help her at night when Im home and the day will be her free time.

    So as far as family and neighbors.. omg where do I start. Neighbors are the same.. no difference. Family.. family family. Oh joy family. Well, gpa is mad at me because Im sick / have the kids to care for, says he will pay Dr but yet he really doesnt have the money to. So I have a sliding scale and free pap coming up!!! Anyways.. hes blaming us, mad at us because we cant be down there daily( my dad is actually) but I cant and wont. He says my kids are just kids have nothing wrong with them, its all excuses,dont blame the kids, son is just all boy, theres no such things as bipolar, or anxiety or asbergers where child can make it so many years then all sudden not.( She didnt all of sudden, there were signs from a little toddler but was said to be shyness... yearly got worse.. aggh. )( Also to if son has a tantrum walk out and go to his house.. umm, no, you cant leave a child alone in a tantrum!!! Whats wrong with him? )blah blah blah. Hes too young to be alone even if perfect child!!! I walked out this morning Im done. Ya, I aint perfect but I know my kids issues are not my fault!!!!! Well -"They inherited" issues,so still from me but not because of me!! Or like the neuropsychologist said sons neurons or something etc may not have developed properly when he was in womb because the whole pregnancy I had pain, bleeding.. he was premature. So I WILL NOT take the blame!Sis, same old issues.

    Aunt, she is very upset of all of our issues of issues with each other and says please dont blame her most of it wasnt her fault as gpa says things etc. I do see her point and still love her as I do all my family..incl gpa.

    Oh to add to the drama, our dogs have been keeping us very busy, they have a health issues..allergy or bacterial issues of sorts...

    Sorry you all know the story already.. but, Im not giving up.. with my health im fighting! Kids, Im fighting for them and they are getting the help they need!! Many waiting times and appts but hey, its progress! I will own my own mobile home( ok, I gave up the idea of building from the prices LIL and Jabber said!! Yikes!!! ) I wasnt going to update until they had their first appointment there, but oh well I did. I miss you all and really needed to vent and talk to people who understand!!!

    Hope you all are good, Ill slowly catch up!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Wow, no wonder you haven't been posting with everything you have going on.

    Sorry to hear you have been sick, I hope you are better soon.

  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Take care of yourself, C. Let us know what the doctor says.
  5. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    It's okay if he doesn't understand, Confused. He is responding from the belief system of his generation. Forgive him, bless yourself, thank your lucky stars we all know better how to help our kids in these times, and continue creating your future.

    You have so many things to deal with. I think you are handling it well. Okay ~ you are balancing many difficult situations well. It must feel overwhelming sometimes, but you are hanging in there. That is a thing to be very proud of.

    You are stronger than you knew. Who would have thought, when you were a little girl, that you would be able take on and balance so many things so well?

    It is easiest for others to blame and call the problem done. For us, for the moms, it is a day to day struggle to know how to respond, to keep us all together, to somehow love ourselves enough to get us all through it.

    I think you are doing a hard thing really well.

    Turns out we are all only human, after all. That's okay. Real is better. Perfectionism is highly over-rated. (That is a joke.)


    True, though.

    I have been perfect a couple of times. I was too busy keeping it perfect to remember to keep it real. That is a very sad thing. I wish I'd been here, right here in the daily of it, more often in my life.

    It is hard to be happy with ourselves when we feel like we need to be perfect before we can take time to be happy.

    I learned that from my daughter.

    Oy vey.

    Check out the problem on YouTube. Someone will have experienced the same issues with their dogs and will have posted about it.

    YouTube is amazing.

    We aren't meant to go through everything alone. How can we know how to do this when we have never done it before? Together with people we can trust, we can begin to see how to get where we think we want to go. Then, where we want to go next changes, because as we change, where we want to go changes, too.

    That is why they say we should relax and enjoy the journey. Personally, my own journey sucked so much, so often, that enjoying it was the last thing on my mind. But you know? Looking back on it now, we certainly did all get to be very real.

    I am so happy to be here, just checking it all out. Those darn stars are so pretty, and the night breezes, just kind of blowing in from who knows where and right onto me.


    So glad to know you are feeling stronger, and are like, leaping into the fray. That seems to be what life is. Little problem here, little joy there.

    And then, a pipe breaks or something.

    That's how it works at my house, anyway.

    Very good to hear from you.

    I have been wondering how you are.

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  6. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I was thinking about you and all you are dealing with and I had the image of a woman spinning many plates.

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  7. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Tanya, I love that picture!!! Thank you for the well wishes :) Hugs back!

    Somewhere, I will let you all know when I know, thank you :) Hugs

    Scent, I know he doesnt understand, neither does another friend that we have slowly drifted a little more apart. But it still hurts to be accused, plus one minute he says its not me the next it is. Yet he believes like I said before in Down Syndrome, Schizophrenia but not much of anything else. I am trying with my kids, we are learning together.

    Your daughter is very smart :) Its hard for us to not be us! We are up against some very strong willed people.. you sound like your doing so much better tho !

    Yup, same here, something starts to go good, and boom! Something goes wrong! I do like the stars, haven't been outside to look anymore. Everything is so rushed then bed and try to sleep. I have been looking it up and some dogs look like ours, the scratching, bald spots. Our Vet said " food allergy" , cant tell if its fleas because you bathed them and I just see dry skin and flakes but no fleas, no tics, here's frontline" So, we changed their diet to Salmon and Potatoes only, no treats at all from anything unless its the salmon n potato. The one dog is worse so they put him on allergy pills with a steroid they gave the first visit helped. Second visit, more fur loss, new leave in anti bacterial shampoo will be used, new allergy pills dont seem to be helping so they said increase dosage.. , and checked him for mange that thankfully was negative! So, Im back to getting bit by insects, we have sprayed the yard now. So, in my mind and according to the web, it could still be fleas, maybe ringworm, they didnt see anything when I asked and no, his skin isnt really circles but after soo much scratching, you never know! Now if it is those or a bacterial/fungal issues, the shampoos wont work alone as its been soo long! Poor dogs!

    Thank you!!!!!!!! Hugs
  8. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    I don't know where you are from, Confused. In the South, for sure in Florida where they spray for mosquitoes, Frontline doesn't work. They use the medication in it when they spray for mosquitoes. Frontline no longer works on Southern fleas. We have a little tiny guy, eight pounds wringing wet. He was allergic to the Frontline, allergic to the flea bites, and so heavily infested it was horrible. A veterinary student told us about the Frontline not working in Florida. We switched was either Revolution or Advantix. (One is for cats.) We have a cat, Sarah, too.

    In any event, that medication worked immediately. The fleas were gone very quickly, and our little guy's skin cleared up shortly thereafter.

    When we go North, the Frontline works for ticks and so on.

    It works on Northern fleas, because we don't spray for mosquitoes, here.

    You can ask about fleas and what is working in your area on YouTube.

  9. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Sorry you're feeling yucky, Confused. I hope you recover quickly. Good luck on the testing for your kids. Sounds like a step in the right direction. Best of luck to you and I wish you the best!
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Confused, Grandpa seems to be the kind of guy who doesn't look too far outside of his own world. If something did not affect him, he didn't bother to learn about it. Also, when he was young, much like my own father, they didn't know much about these disorders. It doesn't matter what he thinks. Take care of your kids based on what professionals think not Grampa. I would not even talk to him about their problems. He is not going to get it at this late date. And if nobody else in your family, or if your friend, doesn't get it, don't talk about it with them either. It's too frustrating and useless and causes hurt feelings.

    The only ones your children need to understand them is YOU. YOU are the one who matters. You are their mom.

    Hugs!!!! Love to see how strong you are getting.
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  11. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Scent- Yes, I will ask, are all the flea/tic medications liquid? My dogs would prefer like the heart worm chewies they are on, similar. Im looking constantly and no fleas! But, Im not giving up!

    California- Thank you, Im sure theres going to be ( has to be) a wonderful day ahead!

    Somewhere-Your right, hes completely old fashioned and not changing his mind.I agree, my kids just need me to understand them and thats where it starts.

    Thanks all
  12. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    You could not possibly be more welcome.