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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 67755" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think compromising is the best way. To me it is ridiculous to live with a meltdown just so the difficult child doesn't "win." From my parenting experience (two difficult child's, three PCs) I don't see that giving in sometimes did any harm. My grown kids are all law abiding and not in trouble (and it was touch-and-go with my daughter who is 23 (see signature). I really think it is an overreation to think that just because you concede and take turns going last that the kid will end up in jail. I did that even with my easy child's (I am not overly strict) and not one of my kids ever saw the inside of jail. My fourteen year old with autism is also no longer a behavior problem and my eleven year old is a great kid so far.I think sometimes we cut off our nose to spite our faces and put up with a house full of chaos because we are afraid that if we ever give in at all, or even compromise, our kids will end up jailbirds. It can happen even if we follow through every time, and we also may suffer health problems of our own cracking the whip on every bad behavior. It's a personal choice, but I'm not willing to live in a home that is like an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). So it's what you are willing to live with combined with what you feel is right for your children. There are times I had to REALLY get tough, especially with my daughter, but I didn't do it over little things like the kid refusing to eat noodles at dinner or the kid not wanting to play Monopoly with the rest of the family. Of course, this was just our choice, but the few times I got stubborn over things that weren't that important, it used up so much energy and my kids didn't really change. Again, they grew up managing to avoid trouble and jail, so I don't believe it is the end of the world to always have to have the last word. That may work with PCs, but...again, I don't like a warzone for a home. But that's just my opinion and experience.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 67755, member: 1550"] I think compromising is the best way. To me it is ridiculous to live with a meltdown just so the difficult child doesn't "win." From my parenting experience (two difficult child's, three PCs) I don't see that giving in sometimes did any harm. My grown kids are all law abiding and not in trouble (and it was touch-and-go with my daughter who is 23 (see signature). I really think it is an overreation to think that just because you concede and take turns going last that the kid will end up in jail. I did that even with my easy child's (I am not overly strict) and not one of my kids ever saw the inside of jail. My fourteen year old with autism is also no longer a behavior problem and my eleven year old is a great kid so far.I think sometimes we cut off our nose to spite our faces and put up with a house full of chaos because we are afraid that if we ever give in at all, or even compromise, our kids will end up jailbirds. It can happen even if we follow through every time, and we also may suffer health problems of our own cracking the whip on every bad behavior. It's a personal choice, but I'm not willing to live in a home that is like an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). So it's what you are willing to live with combined with what you feel is right for your children. There are times I had to REALLY get tough, especially with my daughter, but I didn't do it over little things like the kid refusing to eat noodles at dinner or the kid not wanting to play Monopoly with the rest of the family. Of course, this was just our choice, but the few times I got stubborn over things that weren't that important, it used up so much energy and my kids didn't really change. Again, they grew up managing to avoid trouble and jail, so I don't believe it is the end of the world to always have to have the last word. That may work with PCs, but...again, I don't like a warzone for a home. But that's just my opinion and experience. [/QUOTE]
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