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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 515886" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>easy child/difficult child 3 is almost 18, is a "typical teen," in many ways, and is able to think rationally, that is, when it suits her. She doesn't have a car and since we've moved, isn't on our insurance. Bottom line, she has to depend on us for transportation to and from work. It costs us about $4-$5/day, depending on which car we use. She works an average of 4 days/week. She makes minimum wage. The other day she volunteered to work a short shift, just 2 hours<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/1010hammer.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hammer:" title="hammer :hammer:" data-shortname=":hammer:" />. We tried to explain to her that she isn't even making minimum wage given the cost of transportation. in my humble opinion she just doesn't want to "get" it. I don't think that lightbulb moment will hit until she has her own car, has to fill her own tank.</p><p></p><p>on the other hand, difficult child 2 will probably never have this sort of lightbulb moment. He is unable to see things from anyone's point of view but his own and seems unable to prioritize his wants. When he was living at home and he wanted something, he had to have whatever he wanted ASAP, didn't matter if I was on the telephone, busy working, preparing dinner, etc... If he didn't get what he wanted, he would "melt." </p><p></p><p>When he was calm and I tried to talk to him, he would nod his head and seem to understand. He would repeat back what I told him almost word for word. However, the next time the same sort of issue came up, he would be right back to "melt-down" mode if he didn't get what he wanted. To this day, he wants what he wants when he wants it, end of story. No matter how much his life coach, todoc, etc. try to get him to understand that life doesn't always work this way, it doesn't make a dent in his thought processes. </p><p></p><p>Then there is difficult child 1. He acted the same way as difficult child 2, "melting" if he didn't get what he wanted when he wanted it. The big difference was that difficult child 1 did have the capacity to understand things from other people's point of view. He just refused to do so. The world had to revolve around him. He had to be in control of everything and from a very young age always considered husband and I, his teachers, and all other adults as his equals. difficult child 1 learned that he can't always have immediate gratification, and to respect others point of view only after he had been living on his own for awhile.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you have an excellent case manager for Eyeore and hope she can get through to him. If she can, please, please, let me borrow her for difficult child 2, lol... SFR</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 515886, member: 3388"] easy child/difficult child 3 is almost 18, is a "typical teen," in many ways, and is able to think rationally, that is, when it suits her. She doesn't have a car and since we've moved, isn't on our insurance. Bottom line, she has to depend on us for transportation to and from work. It costs us about $4-$5/day, depending on which car we use. She works an average of 4 days/week. She makes minimum wage. The other day she volunteered to work a short shift, just 2 hours:hammer:. We tried to explain to her that she isn't even making minimum wage given the cost of transportation. in my humble opinion she just doesn't want to "get" it. I don't think that lightbulb moment will hit until she has her own car, has to fill her own tank. on the other hand, difficult child 2 will probably never have this sort of lightbulb moment. He is unable to see things from anyone's point of view but his own and seems unable to prioritize his wants. When he was living at home and he wanted something, he had to have whatever he wanted ASAP, didn't matter if I was on the telephone, busy working, preparing dinner, etc... If he didn't get what he wanted, he would "melt." When he was calm and I tried to talk to him, he would nod his head and seem to understand. He would repeat back what I told him almost word for word. However, the next time the same sort of issue came up, he would be right back to "melt-down" mode if he didn't get what he wanted. To this day, he wants what he wants when he wants it, end of story. No matter how much his life coach, todoc, etc. try to get him to understand that life doesn't always work this way, it doesn't make a dent in his thought processes. Then there is difficult child 1. He acted the same way as difficult child 2, "melting" if he didn't get what he wanted when he wanted it. The big difference was that difficult child 1 did have the capacity to understand things from other people's point of view. He just refused to do so. The world had to revolve around him. He had to be in control of everything and from a very young age always considered husband and I, his teachers, and all other adults as his equals. difficult child 1 learned that he can't always have immediate gratification, and to respect others point of view only after he had been living on his own for awhile. I'm glad you have an excellent case manager for Eyeore and hope she can get through to him. If she can, please, please, let me borrow her for difficult child 2, lol... SFR [/QUOTE]
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