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considering adopting 4 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 280318" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Hi MaryWhiteFace. Welcome to our forum.</p><p> </p><p>Here is a link to a thread where a mom asked a very similar question. There's some very good advice as to what to think through and be prepared for if you do decide to go forward. </p><p><a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8403&highlight=adopting" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8403&highlight=adopting</a></p><p> </p><p>We've seen many outcomes when families adopt kids with serious issues, but it's never an easy road. Some families survive it, some don't. Some siblings are harmed while others prove more resiliant. In extreme cases we've had families who have had to abort the adoption or turn custody back to the state for various family or financial reasons. </p><p> </p><p>Most of the time there is a lot more than ODD going on (ie mental health diagnosis's, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), etc). I'm confused as to why you were told age 4 is too young to diagnose or treat because early intervention is the best hope for a better outcome. I would not even consider adoption until a full multidisciplinary evaluation had been completed. </p><p> </p><p>It's not uncommon for a child with issues to be able to hold it together in school but not at home. I always think that they only have so many "functioning units" and they shoot the wad at school and have nothing left for home. </p><p> </p><p>None of us can tell you what choice is the best for you and your family, but we will tell you to consider carefully the ramifications and under no circumstances should you feel obligated because you have a bio-sibling. Sometimes the best thing for siblings with serious issues is not to house multiples in the same household.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 280318, member: 701"] Hi MaryWhiteFace. Welcome to our forum. Here is a link to a thread where a mom asked a very similar question. There's some very good advice as to what to think through and be prepared for if you do decide to go forward. [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8403&highlight=adopting[/URL] We've seen many outcomes when families adopt kids with serious issues, but it's never an easy road. Some families survive it, some don't. Some siblings are harmed while others prove more resiliant. In extreme cases we've had families who have had to abort the adoption or turn custody back to the state for various family or financial reasons. Most of the time there is a lot more than ODD going on (ie mental health diagnosis's, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), etc). I'm confused as to why you were told age 4 is too young to diagnose or treat because early intervention is the best hope for a better outcome. I would not even consider adoption until a full multidisciplinary evaluation had been completed. It's not uncommon for a child with issues to be able to hold it together in school but not at home. I always think that they only have so many "functioning units" and they shoot the wad at school and have nothing left for home. None of us can tell you what choice is the best for you and your family, but we will tell you to consider carefully the ramifications and under no circumstances should you feel obligated because you have a bio-sibling. Sometimes the best thing for siblings with serious issues is not to house multiples in the same household. [/QUOTE]
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